Narcissists seek endless validation, attention, and praise to compensate for low self-esteem, confidence, and a perceived lack of acceptance. These struggles are often a result of early childhood trauma and attachment issues. Typically, the narcissist did not receive enough love as a child.
Narcissism comprises feelings of grandiosity, a sense of entitlement, and a desire for respect and admiration.
Narcissists thrive on getting attention, feeling special, and having control. He is an expert at getting an emotional reaction out of you – good or bad – because it makes him feel powerful and better than you. The best thing you can do is not react.
To make the narcissist want you back, remind them of what they're missing by showing them you've got plenty of new supply to give. The narcissist thrives on external validation. Because of their deep-rooted insecurities, they cannot love themselves, and they seek affirmation from outside sources.
The best way to shut down a narcissist is to walk away from them. If all else fails, you can physically remove yourself from the conversation. Even if they keep talking, simply turn around and walk away. If they follow you, close the door.
Truth 1: Narcissists fall in love with their fantasy of you.
They fall in love with their projections of whomever they currently idealize as the perfect mate. They can sound convincingly in love, but that is because they temporarily believe in the fantasy version of you created in their mind.
Grandiose sense of self-importance
Grandiosity is the defining characteristic of narcissism. More than just arrogance or vanity, grandiosity is an unrealistic sense of superiority. Narcissists believe they are unique or “special” and can only be understood by other special people.
Generally, narcissists are very frugal with their money and defensive with it. When it comes to their possessions, they don't give them freely. There is, however, more to this greed than self-preservation. Due to their lack of empathy, narcissists may not understand the benefits of sharing their resources.
One of the weird things narcissists do involves destroying your happiness and relaxing moments. They will purposefully do things to prevent you from doing something as simple as sleep. Even if you had a long day or are sick, a narcissist may start a fight while you are trying to sleep.
The narcissist thrives off of the power and control they feel as they continue to pull the strings of the victim like a master puppeteer. They usually dish out silence or stonewalling right around the time the victim is becoming discerning of their mind games and attempting to call them out on it.
Narcissists love to find partners who are self-sacrificing. Narcissists dont have any desire to focus on the victims needs. He/she needs a partner who is willing to have no needs, that way, he/she can always make sure only the narcissist is taken care of.
Many narcissists are obsessive-compulsive as well. They conduct daily "rituals", they are overly punctilious, they do things in a certain order, and adhere to numerous "laws", "principles", and "rules". They have rigid and oft-repeated opinions, uncompromising rules of conduct, unalterable views and judgments.
In fact, narcissists are often attracted to strong, confident, and self-assured women. While this may seem counterintuitive, it is important to realize that the narcissistic traits of grandiosity and confidence are really a mask for deep insecurity.
If there's one thing narcissists hate, it's being told what to do. When you push them into a situation where they have to answer to someone else, it's like their own personal hell. Figure out a way where you can get the narcissist in your life to be underneath an authority figure to really watch them squirm.
A hallmark of people who have strong narcissistic and other dark personality traits (hereafter referred to as narcissists) is the avoidance of taking responsibility for their dysfunctional or incompetent behavior. Since they already have shaky and low self-esteem, they try to mask it with fake confidence.
Narcissists' sexual preferences are often very specific. In bed, the narcissist may have very explicit ideas about what their partner should do or even say. They want the narrative to play out in a certain way, and they don't have patience for changes to the script. This has to do with their lack of empathy.
Hiding assets.
Narcissists don't care what's fair. They go to great pains to hide marital assets, sometimes setting up secret accounts, “lending” money to friends, or stashing cash in safe-deposit boxes. Because they're so grandiose, they don't believe they'll ever get caught.
Narcissists tend to focus on extrinsic motivators, like money and rewards, rather than personal growth and fulfillment. Because money and material wealth are highly important to narcissists, they often become a focal point of their relationships—sometimes resulting in financial abuse.
It comes hand-in-hand with this that narcissists hate being criticised or called out. Which is exactly why there's one word in particular narcissistic people cannot stand: "no".
Although narcissists act superior, entitled and boastful, underneath their larger-than-life facade lies their greatest fear: That they are ordinary. For narcissists, attention is like oxygen. Narcissists believe only special people get attention.
Malignant narcissists are often regarded as having the most extreme form of NPD, and while they will have the regular qualities of someone with narcissistic personality disorder, their self-absorption and self-obsession is accompanied by some darker behaviors as well.
One effective way that a narcissist can draw someone back into their realm is to say, “I love you.” If you're especially important to a narcissist, they'll say and do just about anything to get you back, including using those powerful three words.
Narcissistic personality disorder (narcissism) is a psychiatric disorder characterized by a pattern of self-importance (grandiosity), a constant need for admiration and attention, and a lack of empathy for others. Because of this lack of empathy, a narcissist cannot really love you.