They seek reassurance Overthinking is rooted in insecurity. An overthinker wants to know that you still love them. They need to be constantly reassured by their partners in a relationship.
Asking questions can help an overthinker process how they feel. If they're being quiet and it's obvious they're deep in thought, ask them what's on their mind. If they express an idea or thought, pepper them with follow-up questions to hear more about where they're coming from.
In romantic relationships, overthinking gradually—day after day, month after month—can turn into a bad cognitive habit. It shortens our bandwidth for awareness, empathy, curiosity, and whatever is happening in our own hearts.
2) They constantly seek reassurance
If there's one thing your overthinking partner craves, it's reassurance. They have an insatiable appetite for validation and confirmation of your feelings and intentions.
Many times overthinkers can have difficulty trusting because they infer their past onto the future.
Anxiety and Relationship Problems: Overthinking
Negative, anxious thoughts in relationships cause worries about the relationship, what-ifs, worst-case scenarios, and dread. These manifest as jealousy, anger, distrust, and paranoia. Challenges arise when people act on these thoughts.
Overthinking usually falls into two categories: ruminating about the past and worrying about the future. If you're struggling with overthinking, you may feel “stuck” or unable to take any action at all. It can be hard to get the thoughts out of your mind or concentrate on anything else.
Dating an overthinker isn't easy and would require more work and effort from your side to keep the ship sailing smoothly. However, if you handle them and their obsessive need to overanalyze, well, it could be the most loving relationship, because they genuinely give two hoots about you and the relationship.
Is overthinking a mental illness? No, overthinking isn't a recognized mental health condition, but it can be a symptom of depression or anxiety. Overthinking is commonly associated with generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), says Duke. GAD is characterized by the tendency to worry excessively about several things.
Dr Anand says, “Talk to your partner about your feelings. Make sure to express your doubts in a non judgmental manner and be careful of an aggressive tone. Talk about the reasons that make you suspicious rather than an outright confrontation.” So ladies, be candid with them and don't take stress.
Overthinking may appear to be a simple problem, but it is far from it. Overthinkers may be difficult to date, but that doesn't make them bad people. However, a relationship with them is fraught with danger. While being an overthinker is difficult, loving one is even more difficult.
Often overthinking can be the result of feeling strong emotions of fear, panic, anger, excessive worry, etc. Identifying and challenging these feelings and thoughts may be an effective place to start. Two of these effective skills are identifying emotions and checking the facts.
The good news is that you weren't born an overthinker. Overthinking is the result of one fact of human existence: we all have patterns to our behavior. These patterns, good and bad, develop over time based on life experiences. And just as patterns are learned, they can also be unlearned.
Likely not. An overthinking mind tends to focus on the negative, sabotaging happy thoughts and keeping your mind in a constant state of negativity. When your happiness wanes, it affects your mental health and your productivity.
Research shows that overthinking is prevalent among young (25-35-year-olds) and middle-aged adults (45-55-year- olds). Overthinking tends to be worse among women. And too much thinking can lead to mental health issues such as depression and anxiety, emotional distress, and self-destructive behaviours.
Overthinking is caused due to various reasons like fear, intolerance to uncertainty, trauma, or perfectionism. Overthinking can also be a symptom of already existing mental health conditions such as generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety, or depression.
Distract yourself
Activities like meditation, reading and taking a walk can help keep your stress levels down. “It's best to be proactive and build these activities into your routine,” says Duke. “They can reduce your baseline level of anxiety and make you less likely to overthink.”