and so this is we're going to hone in on the fact that you know emotionally unavailable people or dismissive avoiding attachment cells they tend to be attracted to people who are number one very supportive. and when people are very supportive.
Love Avoidants recognize and are attracted to the Love Addict's strong fear of being left because Love Avoidants know that all they have to do to trigger their partner's fear is threaten to leave.
They go out of their way to spend time with you.
So they often try to keep people at a distance for as long as they can out of reluctance to take things to a deeper level. This being said, if your avoidant partner prioritizes you and goes out of their way to spend time with you, they're likely in love. Big, big love.
Although an avoidant may not be comfortable with affection, they still might want to be intimate. In fact, when an avoidant loves someone, they're much more able to get physically close to them. So, if you enjoy a satisfying sex life with your avoidant, it could be a sign that they're in love with you.
For instance, a dismissive attacher might be prone to flirting with someone else, ignoring their partner's texts or calls, or making decisions without their partner in order to push the partner away. A tendency to be overly concerned about being controlled.
People with a so-called avoidant attachment style have reported in previous research that they like touch less and engage in it much less than the average. Thus, they were the perfect candidates to investigate people who could benefit from less touch.
Avoidant Attachment: less likely to fall in love and more likely to engage in casual sex. Adults with an avoidant attachment style typically have a deactivated attachment system. Avoidant individuals do not seek proximity and intimacy, avoid the display of emotions, and appear distant and cold.
There are a number of tell-tale signs that someone might have an avoidant attachment style in relationships: They are uncomfortable with emotional closeness. Dislike opening up to others and expressing thoughts and feelings. Find it difficult to trust and rely on others.
Avoidants tend to not want to give anything or anybody their time or their energy. If it doesn't serve them any purpose, they won't do it. So if they are with you and they are giving you their time, that is a really good indication that they care about you and they are putting you as a priority.
Adults with the dismissive / avoidant attachment style seem to be pretty happy about who they are and where they are. They might be very social, easy-going, and fun to be around. In addition, these individuals might have a lot of friends and/or sexual partners. Generally speaking, they are not alone or lonely.
An avoidant-dismissive person can have a successful loving relationship once they acknowledge their attachment style and are willing to work on the detrimental effect it will play out on their loving relationship if they continue acting out avoidant-dismissive behavior.
After intimacy deepens, the avoidant partner loses interest in being sexual, in hugging, kissing, and perhaps even holding hands. Some avoidant partners will seem to actively limit physical proximity, such as sitting closely together on a couch where contact may be possible.
Avoidant partners want to feel respected and to have their behavior acknowledged. They want to know that their need for space isn't a deal-breaker and that you'll be there when they're ready. Avoidant individuals will also want to be reassured that you're not trying to control or change them in your relationship.
This means they love you because those with avoidant attachments have a tendency to be hypersexual. If they leave you alone in their home or apartment, that's a big sign they care.
Individuals with this disorder also find it difficult to trust or express their deepest feelings for fear of abandonment, rejection, or loss. Avoidant personalities often draw near to people they love or care about, and later pull away out of fear.
A dismissive-avoidant will shut down when approached with inconsistent communication. Over time a Dismissive-avoidant will stop trying to bridge the gap in emotional connection and slowly give up on the relationship.
If an avoidant starts pulling away, let them know that you care but do not chase them. It may be very painful to do this, but pursuing them is likely to make it take longer for them to come back. They need breathing space, to feel safe with their own thoughts and unengulfed.
This response isn't to suggest that avoidant attachers don't feel the pain of a breakup – they do. They're just prone to pushing down their heartbreak and attempting to carry on with life as normal.
Avoidant partners tend to talk more about independence rather than closeness, freedom rather than intimacy, and self-reliance rather than interdependence. They fear clingy people or being seen as clingy themselves. Avoidant or unavailable partners tend to believe they can only depend on themselves.
Fearful-Avoidant with Dismissive-Avoidant: Yellow light
That said, a fearful-avoidant individual and dismissive-avoidant individual can create a positive, hard-won connection when both are doing their inner work.
Someone who is dismissive-avoidant in their attachment style may appear withdrawn and highly independent. They feel as though they do not need close, intimate relationships, preferring not to be dependent upon others, nor have others depend upon them.
For this reason, and the fact that they find emotional closeness difficult, avoidant adults may be more likely to have a lot of friends rather than a few close ones. Avoidant attachers are often the life and soul of the party due to their elevated confidence and high self-esteem.
Adults with the dismissive-avoidant style are distinctively cold. They have a negative view of others and avoid closeness with relationship partners. Acceptance from others is not very important to dismissive avoiders.