A narcissistic ex will show no empathy for you or the people around them. They cannot relate to your pain or see the role they played in your breakup. Their only goal is to feed their ego, and they will go to any lengths to achieve these goals. This lack of empathy can be masked by a charming personality.
A person with NPD may display personality changes without warning and even go to lengths such as emotional blackmail to pursue their self-serving interests. Inflated Sense of Importance: Narcissists often work under a grandiose feeling of self-importance.
They'll try to manipulate you emotionally.
A narcissistic ex won't hesitate to use emotional manipulation to keep you in their life. They might try love-bombing, where they'll shower you with affection and compliments to get you to come back to them.
At the end of a relationship, narcissists may become combative, passive-aggressive, hostile, and even more controlling. People with NPD often fail to understand other people's needs and values. They are hyper focused on their egos, but do not account for how their actions affect others.
But as clinical psychologist Dr. Ramani Durvasula points out, narcissists often have a habit of staying in contact with their exes in a way that is solely about their own needs. "The central motivator for narcissists is validation," she explains. "And an ex is often a really interesting place to get it...
A recent research study conducted byMogilski and Welling (2017) showed that those who had darker personality traits such as narcissism, psychopathy and duplicity tended to stay friends with their exes out of pragmatism, sex and access to resources.
It is common for people with a narcissistic personality disorder to regret discarding or losing someone, but it does not mean what you might think. If they feel regret, it is not because they hurt you. It is for losing something that they value. You are a possession, not a real person.
If your ex had a narcissistic personality, chances are they moved on to the next relationship pretty soon after your breakup.
People with high levels of narcissistic admiration experienced less anxiety and sadness after a breakup and maintained positive perceptions of their exes. They were also more likely to initiate a breakup and attribute it to their lack of interest in their ex.
Narcissists love attention, whether it's good or bad.
Ignore their texts, don't answer their phone calls, and don't talk to them when you see them in person. You'll notice the narcissist in your life getting more and more angry as you keep ignoring them.
It's true: Your narcissistic ex will remember you but not — never — in the way you hope they will, as the “great love of their life”. Most of the time they won't even think about you and you know why: They're too busy spinning their web to snare the next unsuspecting spider.
In a survey we conducted among 300 people who experienced narcissistic abuse in a romantic relationship, we discovered that the average amount of time it took for a narcissist to get over their ex was three-and-a-half weeks.
Therefore the narcissist seems to move on so fast because their emotions are not as deep as ours but also, they don't form memories in the same way the rest of us do. For most of us it's the memories which keep us attached to someone and unable to move on.
One thing a narcissist might do at the end of your relationship is cut you off. If you attempt to make contact, they will ignore you. Here, a narcissist is enjoying giving you “punishment” for any transgressions they think you have made. They want you to know and feel that you do not exist to them.
Furthermore, trying to seek justice from someone who lacks empathy and is unable to see their own faults is unproductive. Instead, the best ways to deal with a narcissist is to limit contact, cutting them off from the narcissistic supply they are getting from you.
They're not going to contact you immediately following a disengagement or breakup. A narcissist will wait months or even years until you've almost forgotten them and can think of them without fear. If the narcissist in your life is an ex, they may wait until the relationship you had after them has ended to strike.
When a narcissist realizes they can no longer control you, it is common for them to use many different manipulation tactics to try to regain control over you, such as gaslighting, baiting, intermittent reinforcement, hoovering, narcissistic rage, discarding, smear campaigns, and self-victimization.
Although most narcissists seem to attempt reconciliation a few times before suddenly disappearing, most eventually stop and proceed with an abrupt separation or divorce. There are several significant reasons as to why they do this.
Unfortunately for a narcissist, she says, the next person will always end up being boring because time breeds familiarity, requiring the narcissist to look for something new. "They are always waiting for the next new thing," she adds. "You are not boring, narcissists are just bored with everything."
While people with narcissism aren't devoid of emotions, their motivations may be self-focused. They can know they're hurting your feelings, but as long as it elevates their status, they may not care. Someone living with narcissism does cry. They can feel regret, remorse, and sadness.
Put Your Needs First. Narcissists make others feel guilty about being happy because they expect everyone to put the narcissist's happiness first. If you're not constantly praising them or accepting their criticisms that make them feel superior, they won't be satisfied.
The narcissist often keeps his exes close by as a backup in case their current relationship doesn't work out. They also want their ex around to continually feed their ego with the attention and admiration they so crave.
Narcissists often view their partners as possessions rather than individuals with their desires and needs. When they see their ex with someone else, they may feel jealous that someone else is getting what they believe is rightfully theirs.
As a general rule, narcissists don't miss or love their exes — but they'll work hard to convince you that they do.