Because of how INFJs deal with past pain, they're likely to have similar reactions to trauma. These include: Avoiding people, places, or things that remind them of the trauma. Experiencing fear and anxiety about the outside world.
INFJs who have endured childhood trauma can struggle to process or move on from this. They likely hold onto those feelings and will blame themselves when things go wrong. It can also cause the INFJ to fear being abandoned, so they continue to pretend they don't have this trauma on their chest.
If INFJs are in a state of grip stress they can be more harsh, reactive, blunt, and critical than usual. They might tear down relationships, plans, or even physical objects around them in a state of self-destructive fury.
Unhealthy INFJs either leave conflict directly or insist that other people “make up” as quickly as possible. This is because INFJs tend to absorb the feelings of the people they are with, which means if there is anger or frustration in the environment they feel stressed or frustrated.
INFJs in the Grip
You might start overdoing sensing activities, such as eating, drinking, or exercising too much. You try to control everything in your environment and make endless lists. You may walk through your house and become hyperaware of all the things that need fixing or that are out of place.
Because of how INFJs deal with past pain, they're likely to have similar reactions to trauma. These include: Avoiding people, places, or things that remind them of the trauma. Experiencing fear and anxiety about the outside world.
Over time, the INFJ becomes overwhelmed by their emotions. That overwhelming hurt is what causes the INFJ door slam. The INFJ door slam happens when an INFJ “slams the door” on your relationship. They shut down and block you out, often with little or no explanation.
INFJs will spend a lot of time reflecting on the situation alone, and they'll decide whether it is worth addressing or forgetting. An INFJ will often choose to push the issue aside and leave it, releasing their anger through art, creative hobbies, or exercise.
INFJs keep to themselves.
This can make them hard to get to know, and they are often that one person in the group who's shrouded in mystery. INFJs are also resistant to vulnerability, so even after the conversation is started, the INFJ isn't likely to offer up any meaningful connection right away.
INFJs are easily overwhelmed by bright lights, strong smells, scratchy fabric or loud noise. This is not simply overreacting. For them, it feels like the volume is always turned up too high, sometimes bringing them to tears or making them avoid people.
INFJs also feel embarrassed when they cry in front of others or react emotionally to criticism. They also experience “second-hand embarrassment”. This occurs when they empathize too strongly with someone who has done something awkward or is embarrassing themselves.
INFJs tend to be especially drained by conflict with others. They're likely to avoid tension as much as they can, which may lead them to withhold information due to a fear of causing conflict.
They tend to get easily overstimulated and can become so caught up in their ideas that they are easily startled when faced with an interruption. INFJ children are often repeatedly told to stop daydreaming so much, to pay attention, focus on the task at hand, and get their head out of the clouds.
In addition to being highly sensitive (sometimes to an extreme degree), many INFJs also struggle with high amounts of anxiety and depression. A lot of INFJs report that they experience a low-key depression running in the background of their lives, even when it appears that everything is going well on the surface.
INFP is the type most commonly mistaken for INFJ, and they use Ne as their co-pilot process. If Signs 1 and 5 are both sound true for you there's a very good chance you're an INFP. ENFPs lead with Ne and have Fi as their co-pilot.
Intuitive Weirdness
INFJs have an abstract, futuristic approach to the world around them. Rather than seeing things for what they are, they see things for what they “mean.” When forced to focus all their attention outside the intuitive plane, they can come across as stressed, unsteady, or overwhelmed.
In my experience as an MBTI® practitioner, one of the most common struggles I hear from INFJs is the struggle of being misunderstood. INFJs feel misunderstood in their external environment and even by themselves.
Basic Fear: Of being worthless, unloved, or unwanted. Basic Desire: To know they are loved. These INFJs tend to appear more jovial and extroverted than some other INFJs. They are very people-oriented and lean heavily on their secondary function: Extraverted Feeling (Fe).
Love And The INFJ Personality Type
They can often come across as intimidating or aloof, and it may sometimes feel difficult to relate to an INFJ. Many people will never see the loving side of INFJs because many INFJs reserve true displays of intimacy and affection for close friends and long-term, loving relationships.
The inferior cognitive function of INFJs (the weakest part of their personality) is Extraverted Sensing; this helps them live in the present moment and be aware of the world around them.
They might get angry and defensive, scared of ever letting another person in. It's okay to feel those things, but it's not healthy to stay there long-term. The heartbreak doesn't have to define the rest of your life and your other relationships (I'm currently working on convincing myself of this).
Interruptions, noise, and excessive sensory stimulation will push an INFJ to the edge of their comfort zone.
INFJs are capable of mechanical memorization, but the amount retained this way is less than from memory based on understanding. INFJs are capable of accurately reproducing received information, especially if they associate it with any feelings.