He might not initiate sharing anything from his side, nor does he acknowledge your emotions. You may also notice your husband disinterested in showing love and affection or having a hearty chat with you. But this is not how married life can continue, and some changes are required from both ends to make it better.
One of the most common signs that someone is emotionally unavailable is that they don't reveal or show their actual feelings around you. And while you may encourage them to open up and be able to express their emotions, they never let their guard down around you to say what's really on their mind.
They Don't Like to Open Up to You
One of the most common characteristics of an emotionally-unavailable person is the reluctance to reveal their feelings to you. Discussing how you're feeling is a normal part of a healthy relationship, but a detached partner will not be comfortable doing this.
When you're in a relationship with someone who's emotionally unavailable, the relationship 100 percent revolves around them. “They don't consider your feelings, ask about your day, or wonder about your thoughts and dreams,” says Sylvester. “They brood on their own situations, expecting you to cater to their demands.
Emotional neglect occurs when a spouse fails on a regular basis to attend to or respond to their partner's emotional needs. This is marked by a distinct lack of action by one person toward the feelings of the other, including an absence of awareness, consideration, or response to a spouse's emotions.
In the context of a marriage, the feelings of neglect, being left out, and not being heard are collectively referred to as emotional abandonment. It occurs when one partner is so preoccupied with their own concerns that they are unable to notice the struggles, concerns, or problems their partner is experiencing.
He might not be touchy-feely; emotionally unavailable men aren't big fans of PDA, and that probably won't change right away when he falls in love. Still, he'll initiate physical closeness to show you that he has feelings for you.
"Another reason someone might attract someone emotionally unavailable is because they have low self-esteem. For whatever reason (body image issues, experience of being bullied, job instability, addiction, or mental health issues), they may not believe they are worthy of love and commitment," she says.
There's a term for this: walkaway wife syndrome. This term is sometimes used to describe instances where a spouse – often the wife – has felt alone, neglected, and resentful in a deteriorating marriage and decides it's time to end it.
Emotionally unavailable individuals are also quick to find excuses to explain why they are late to visit you, do not show up on dates, or have not spoken to you in a while. They may say that they are busy. But if they are constantly “busy” doing things and hanging out with people besides you, this could be a red flag.
There are some common reasons that your partner may not be initiating sex, many of which have nothing to do with you. Maybe they're feeling badly about their body, perhaps they are stressed, or maybe they're not feeling confident about their sexual skills.
What Causes Emotional Unavailability? While there is no one explanation for emotional unavailability, it can be caused by a number (or combination) of factors. These include attachment styles developed in childhood, history in relationships, trauma, mental health conditions, and one's circumstances and priorities.
When you ignore an emotionally unavailable man, there is a possibility that this could trigger an old trauma or hurt. Instead of him opening up or realizing, he might feel you're doing the same thing again. This is why it's also important to understand what happened or what triggered him to be like this.
You're attracted to uninvolved people because some part of you may also be unavailable. That's not something that makes you a bad person or partner. Rather, these are your deeply ingrained fears of intimacy, commitment, engulfment, rejection, or getting hurt.
Jealousy is about a lot of things, including insecurity, immaturity, and fear. Emotionally unavailable men may experience jealousy more intensely because they bottle up their feelings.
This doesn't necessarily mean they don't care about your feelings, but they might not have the emotional capability to identify and honor your needs. Since an emotionally unavailable person isn't comfortable exploring their own emotions, they might not be able to connect with other people's emotional needs, either.
They're not affectionate (at least not consistently).
If your partner is emotionally evasive, your intimate life might be getting more mild by the day. Touch, compliments, and sex are all means to intimacy, which the emotionally unavailable person avoids.
When a couple is emotionally attuned to each other, they experience emotional connection and emotional intimacy. In a marriage emotional neglect is when a spouse CONSISTENTLY fails to notice, attend to, and respond IN A TIMELY MANNER to a spouse's feelings.
A husband who doesn't cherish and honor you often belittles you when you talk. He makes demeaning comments and is rude, making you feel like you don't matter.
Stages of a Dying Marriage
A dying marriage is a marriage that is on the brink of ending. The stages of a dying marriage include denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. These stages are similar to the stages of a breakup but may take longer to complete.