Some relationship traits of a person with BPD include: difficulty trusting others. irrationally fearing others' intentions. quickly cutting off communication with someone they think might end up abandoning them.
People with BPD may move quickly from feelings of idealization to devaluation regarding their partner and are more likely to terminate relationships than people without BPD. If you are dating someone with BPD, you may find it easy to blame yourself for your partner's erratic actions and symptoms.
Know Your Partner May Have Comorbidities
These behaviors may include extreme mood swings, borderline rage, and impulsive or self-destructive patterns like overspending, reckless driving, misusing drugs or alcohol, binge eating, and self-harming/suicidal tendencies.
"People with BPD are looking to their relationships to be the answer to all of their interpersonal and emotional needs," Dr. Unruh said. They tend to look for "perfect" relationships, he added, and their expectations often don't match up with those of the average person.
People with BPD often have patterns of intense or unstable relationships. This may involve a shift from extreme adoration to extreme dislike, known as a shift from idealization to devaluation. Relationships may be marked by attempts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.
Dating someone with borderline personality disorder (BPD) can be difficult at times, but it doesn't have to be something that harms your relationship. BPD symptoms can include complex and unhealthy thought processes, anxiety, poor self-image, and dramatic mood swings.
People affected by BPD often have highly unstable intimate relationships. Usually of above average intelligence, they tend to fall in love easily, sometimes without getting to know the person.
Often, the person with BPD will react towards loved ones as if they were the abusers from their past, and take out vengeance and anger towards them. When the person with BPD feels abandoned, they can become abusive or controlling as a way to defend against feelings of abandonment or feeling unworthy.
People with BPD strongly desire a deep connection with those around them. This is partly because of their fear of abandonment but because they simply love people and crave deep connections.
Results found in a 2014 study found the average length of a BPD relationship between those who either married or living together as partners was 7.3 years. However, there are cases where couples can stay together for 20+ years.
So, why are BPD relationships so complicated? Individuals with BPD tend to idealize their partners and put them on a 'pedestal'. Doing this allows them to believe, however fleetingly, that they have found their soulmate. The problems arise when reality doesn't match up to their idealized version of the partner.
Formal symptoms of borderline personality disorder
intense, unstable relationship patterns of idealization and devaluation. persistent and unstable sense of self or self-image. potentially self-damaging impulsive behavior. recurrent suicide attempts, suicide ideation, or self-harm.
BPD splitting destroys relationships because the behaviour can be impulsive or reckless in order to alleviate the pain, often hurting loved ones in the process. It can feel like everyone abandons or hurts them, often causing them to look for evidence, and creating problems from nothing.
Splitting is a psychological mechanism which allows the person to tolerate difficult and overwhelming emotions by seeing someone as either good or bad, idealised or devalued. This makes it easier to manage the emotions that they are feeling, which on the surface seem to be contradictory.
Gentle: Don't attack, threaten, or lay guilt trips. (Act) Interested: Listen to what your partner has to say, don't interrupt them, and be sensitive to what they are feeling. Validate: Be non-judgmental and validate their feelings and problems. Easy Manner: Try to be lighthearted and ease your partner along.
With treatment and continual support from family and partners, people with BPD can have successful relationships.
Passionate and emotional – When a person with BPD loves, the love is deep, highly committed and loyal to the relationship. Even though there may be struggles with attachment and fears of abandonment, these are ultimately manifestations of love.
Even though it can be challenging, it is possible for people with borderline personality disorder to lead healthy lives and have stable relationships with their partners.
Enable the person with BPD by protecting them from the consequences of their actions. If your loved one won't respect your boundaries and continues to make you feel unsafe, then you may need to leave. It doesn't mean you don't love them, but your self-care should always take priority.
These individuals often report feeling that emotions control their lives or even that they feel things more intensely than other people. In close relationships, a person with BPD may appear jealous, possessive, or hyper-reactive. These individuals often fear being left alone and have deep feelings of worthlessness.
Romantic fantasization is a common feature of borderline personality disorder (BPD). The unpredictable emotional state associated with borderline personality disorder can cause confusing fluctuations in how borderlines view their romantic partners.