Examples of sibling emotional abuse include name-calling, belittling, teasing, insulting, threatening, destroying property, relational aggression, intimidation and asserting power or control.
Sibling abuse can take various forms. It may be physical, psychological, or sexual and can be doled out in seemingly benign ways. The damage happens when a sibling inflicts persistent emotional abuse, teasing, denigration, or physical harm on another sibling.
Emotional abuse between siblings is common, but is difficult to research. However, its effect should not be underestimated. Emotional abuse includes name calling, belittling, teasing, shaming, threats, intimidation, false accusations, provocation, and destroying a sibling's belongings.
Potential effects of sibling abuse include difficulty separating pleasure from pain and fear from desire in a sexual relationship, re-victimization in adulthood, difficulty in developing and sustaining intimate relationships, trouble negotiating boundaries, intimacy issues, and interdependency in relationships.
Sibling abuse, just like other forms of abuse, can lead to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
A toxic sibling relationship is a relationship that is unbalanced in its power dynamic and may involve sibling abuse and dysfunctional sibling rivalry. Sibling estrangement can be caused by parental favoritism, having immature parents, parental or sibling abuse, and psychopathy.
Often labeled rivalry and ignored, sibling bullying and abuse cause real trauma. Sibling abuse is the most common but least reported abuse in the family. Prevalence is higher than spousal or child abuse combined with consequences well into adulthood similar to parent-child abuse.
Each one is a constant reminder to the other that parents, food, clothing, toys and space must be shared. Older siblings resent younger ones because they think that the younger ones get more attention. Younger siblings resent older ones because they are more capable and get more privileges.
The term 'trauma bond' is also known as Stockholm Syndrome. It describes a deep bond which forms between a victim and their abuser. Victims of abuse often develop a strong sense of loyalty towards their abuser, despite the fact that the bond is damaging to them.
“Criticism, looking down on you, bullying, invalidating or gaslighting, and physical intimidation or abuse – all of it happens in toxic sibling relationships.” The same goes for toxic siblings. Being unfair or hurtful is one thing. It can even happen unintentionally.
Frequent crying, anxiety, confusion, guilt, and shame are just some of the feelings commonly felt by those who've been emotionally abused. And if left untreated, PTSD can also trigger the patient to develop other mental health issues, such as anxiety disorder, depression, etc.
The emotional dependence an abused woman feels is a result of many factors which she may be only dimly aware of. The dependence can develop as a result of never living alone as an adult; death or illness of a parent; an unpleasant divorce or the experience of having been abused as a child.
Sibling abuse is severe and chronic physical, emotional or sexual abuse of one sibling by another. What distinguishes sibling abuse from sibling rivalry is that the behavior is severe, repeated and a deliberate effort to harm the other, usually younger and smaller, sibling.
In 1989, Deborah Gold developed five typologies of adult sibling relations based on “… patterns of psychological involvement, closeness, acceptance/ approval, emotional support, instrumen- tal support, contact, envy and resent- ment” (Cicirelli, 1995, 49).
Reactions to trauma can differ based on the family member's age, developmental level, traumatic history, their relationship with the person who passed away and their personal exposure to the event. The children in a family are often the most vulnerable to trauma and each sibling will have their own person reaction.
The Characteristics of Stockholm Syndrome
Stockholm syndrome is often found in toxic relationships where a power differential exists, such as between a parent and child or spiritual leader and congregant.
This term may be used throughout the individual's life well into adulthood. It suggests that the youngest child is never fully grown, and may never carry the same level of gravitas in life as their older siblings will. Because of this and other factors, a child may learn to adopt certain adaptive characteristics.
Oldest child syndrome refers to a number of characteristics people develop as an outcome of being the first-born. For instance, following the birth of another baby, the firstborn goes from being the “only child” of their parents to having to share their parent's love and attention with a younger sibling.
What Is Oldest Child Syndrome? Oldest Child Syndrome is believed by some to be evidence of common characteristics that can be attributed to birth order. These traits of first-born children include a sense of entitlement, responsibility, and ambition.
The highest rate of child abuse is in babies less than one year of age, and 25 percent of victims are younger than age three.
Obsession, desire for perfection, high self-esteem, or pressure to meet parents' expectations are common signs of oldest child syndrome. Children with oldest child syndrome could show dominance and act as second parents to siblings.