It's characterized by constant and unrelenting feelings of being alone, separated or divided from others, and an inability to connect on a deeper level. It can also be accompanied by deeply rooted feelings of self-doubt, low self-esteem, or social anxiety.
Some research suggests that loneliness can increase stress. It's also associated with an increased risk of certain mental health problems. For example, depression, anxiety, low self-esteem and sleep problems. My anxiety and depression isolates me from people and stops me from being able to do the things I'd like to do.
"Lacking encouragement from family or friends, those who are lonely may slide into unhealthy habits," Valtorta says. "In addition, loneliness has been found to raise levels of stress, impede sleep and, in turn, harm the body. Loneliness can also augment depression or anxiety."
If you've experienced ongoing feelings of loneliness, it can have negative effects on your physical health. It could lead to weight gain, sleep deprivation, poor heart health, and a weakened immune system. Loneliness can also put your body under more stress than normal.
A brain imaging study showed that feeling ostracized actually activates our neural pain matrix. In fact, several studies show that ostracizing others hurts us as much as being ostracized ourselves. We can hypothesize that, similarly, loneliness is associated with the pain matrix.
When someone feels lonely they are more likely to try to distract themselves with the other things in their lives. So if your colleague is always talking about their stamp collection, or always flying away on exotic solo city breaks rather than spending weekends at home, they might be feeling alone.
It's important to remember: loneliness is a totally normal and universal experience that happens to everyone. The solution for chronic loneliness is connecting with others. However, that's easier said than done. It takes courage to open yourself to others and risk rejection when you already feel so vulnerable.
There is early evidence that cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), mindfulness and positive psychology can reduce loneliness in later life. These three approaches share key principles. They identify the automatic negative thoughts and feelings which can become overwhelming over time and influence behavior.
Biologists have shown that feelings of loneliness trigger the release of stress hormones that in turn are associated with higher blood pressure, decreased resistance to infection and increased risk of cardiovascular disease and cancer.
When a feeling of being alone and disconnected persists for extended periods of time (often despite actually surrounding yourself with other humans), quality, rejuvenating alone time transitions into crippling loneliness.
Most notably, researchers found that loneliness rates peak among people in their 20s, and reach their lowest point among those in their 60s. Many people also experience a spike in lonely feelings around their mid-40s. These findings are as confounding as they are surprising, at least initially.
"Loneliness can change the neurochemistry of the brain, turning off the dopamine neurons, which trigger the reward response, and causing some degeneration in the brain when the reward response is not activated," says Katherine Peters, MD, PhD, FAAN, associate professor of neurology and neurosurgery at Duke University.
There are different types of loneliness: emotional, and social and existential loneliness.
Stage 4: Depression. The despair of loneliness is an all-encompassing emotion.
Personality traits related differently to loneliness depending on gender. Among women, loneliness was associated with higher levels of agreeableness. Among men, loneliness was associated with lower levels of agreeableness, lower levels of conscientiousness, and higher levels of neuroticism.
To be happy alone, experts say that it can help to try exercising, spending time in nature, or volunteering. Taking a break from social media or adopting a pet can also help you feel less lonely. However, if you are struggling to feel happy alone, it may be worth seeking medical help.
"One of the best things to do for loneliness is to begin to build a better social network. Community organizations, religious groups, and social groups around shared interest provide wonderful ways to connect with others."
“The worst kind of loneliness in the world is isolation that comes from being misunderstood. It can make people lose their grasp on reality.”
Many people believe that they need to have a significant other to be happy, but this isn't always the case. If you feel fulfilled in life, perhaps by your career, hobbies, or friendships, you can be happy being single forever, and there is no reason to force yourself into a relationship.