Neediness is an excessive need for acceptance or affection that results in that person repeatedly becoming overly attached to people and depending on them too much. An insecure attachment is often the culprit behind clinginess in relationships, according to relationship expert Jaime Bronstein, LCSW.
What Is a Needy Woman? A needy woman regularly dumps her problems at your feet. She always has some drama that requires you to soothe her feelings, help her do something, or validate her actions. She can't ever feel comfortable with herself or look to her inner judgment to guide her through daily life.
While there are many attachment styles, the word needy implies you have an “anxious” attachment style. If you have an anxious attachment style, you externalize your needs more and might in fact have more needs than other people. Again, there's absolutely nothing to be ashamed of if that's you.
A 2021 study found that clingy behavior is the biggest turn-off in romantic relationships. The survey of over 1,400 young adults in their twenties and thirties reported 78 difficulties they've experienced in relationships.
While clingy tendencies may have been “ok” in your previous relationship, being overly needy is generally considered a toxic dating habit.
One of the most common behaviors that can make a woman appear desperate is being too eager for attention from men. This could include talking about your love life incessantly or even trying too hard to impress someone with your looks or behavior.
Neediness is an excessive need for acceptance or affection that results in that person repeatedly becoming overly attached to people and depending on them too much. An insecure attachment is often the culprit behind clinginess in relationships, according to relationship expert Jaime Bronstein, LCSW.
High stress, relationship problems, exhaustion, and illness can all increase a person's feelings of neediness and/or needy behaviors. Some people tend to exhibit characteristics of neediness more than others, and in these people, the term might be used to describe their personality.
Explain your feelings. Let her know you don't like feeling boxed in. Tell her how much you like her, and that you love spending time with her, but that you want to be able to spend time with other people as well. Encourage her to do the same.
A clingy girlfriend or boyfriend is usually not good for the longevity of a relationship. It is important to keep individuality when in a relationship. Many people who find themselves with a clingy partner will give up hobbies and things they once loved.
Minimizing or dismissing someone's needs
"This is where the gaslighter makes the victim's needs feel unimportant," she says. For example, they may say things like, "Why do you keep asking me for things?" or "You are so needy," which are intended to make the other person question and doubt themselves.
Neediness often stems from anxiety, fear of abandonment, and a desire to be loved and reassured. It can manifest as smothering, controlling, or jealous behaviors that push people away rather than support the connection someone is usually trying to create.
Needy can be a slur, but it might not always be an unfair label. It's actually healthy to have emotional needs and a need to connect in a relationship. That's the whole point of pairing up with someone.
“Often, it can be due to feelings of insecurity, self-doubt or anxiety about the future,” she said. “A lack of confidence in relationships can also contribute to clinginess.
Excessive Texting
For instance, texting non-stop could indicate that one partner is clingy and needy and feeling insecure in the relationship. While this is usually only harmful to the person doing the excessive texting, it can be smothering to the person on the receiving end.
'Clingy' is a term often used to describe someone who does not have clear boundaries and tends to get over-attached emotionally or even physically. If your boyfriend is overly possessive, jealous (even of your non-romantic relationships), and irrationally insecure about your whereabouts, he is clingy.
A guy might be sexually attracted to you if he makes flirty eye contact with you and can't stop smiling around you. He might also like you if he touches you often and makes an effort to lean in close to you. A man is probably sexually attracted to you if you catch him staring at you or scanning your body up and down.
Losing a Sense of Self
If you spend an inordinate amount of time trying to please your spouse, spend time with them, or agree with them, you will begin to lose your identity. If you would not know who you were if you and your spouse broke up, you are likely too needy.
1. Overly controlling behavior. Overly controlling behavior is a common red flag in relationships. People that try to control your movements, decisions, or beliefs are more concerned about what they want than what is best for you.