Feelings of emptiness and loneliness Research from 2019 explains that you receive a sense of comfort, security, and satisfaction from physical contact. You bond with others from human touch and can experience distress without it. Lack of physical touch can lead to feelings of emptiness and loneliness.
A person may become touch starved when they do not receive enough physical or emotional interaction from others. They may crave hugs, handshakes, or even a simple smile from a stranger. When there is a significant decrease in human interaction, someone might begin to feel isolated or experience symptoms of depression.
It has been found that touch calms our nervous center and slows down our heartbeat. Human touch also lowers blood pressure as well as cortisol, our stress hormone. It also triggers the release of oxytocin, a hormone known for promoting emotional bonding to others.
When a person doesn't receive enough touch, it can cause 'touch hunger' or 'touch starvation'. This condition has been associated with higher levels of anxiety, depression and stress. In teenagers, touch hunger is related to higher levels of aggression. On the flip side, receiving touch can improve our mental health.
You feel a deep sense of loneliness.
If you aren't getting enough physical contact in your daily life, you might feel extremely lonely or on your own. Loneliness can happen even if you live with someone or you're in a relationship—if you're touch starved, you're going to crave that human connection no matter what.
“Touch is a modulator that can temper the effects of stress and pain, physical and emotional. We have seen in our research that a lack of touch is associated with greater anxiety,” says Fotopoulou.
It makes them feel out of control and vulnerable,” Aline Zoldbrod, psychologist, explained. However, besides severe physical or sexual trauma, even microaggressions, or experiences of being bullied, objectified, or teased about one's physical appearance, can also lead to one being averse to hugs.
Touch can reduce heart rate and blood pressure and help us to feel calmer and less stressed. Touch reduces the release of cortisol and seems to have a beneficial role in our immune response. Touch can strongly transmit a sense of being accepted and cared for and can reduce a sense of loneliness.
Research shows that social connection is essential to overall well-being and physical health. Some individuals may be more outgoing than others. However, humans require love and affection from others, whether in close relationships or with a larger group of people.
Physical touch does things for us like: release oxytocin, reduce stress and calm our nervous system, making it an important, core physical and emotional need. And it's not just humans!
Research has shown that it takes 8 to 10 meaningful touches a day to maintain physical and emotional health. Studies show that “touch signals safety and trust, it soothes” (source).
If the aversion to touch is causing you distress: This could be a sign of an underlying condition such as sensory processing disorder (SPD), anxiety disorder, or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). In such cases, it is best to see a doctor or mental health professional for advice and treatment.
Haphephobia (haf-uh-FOE-bee-uh) is an intense, overwhelming fear of being touched. Many people don't like being touched by strangers. But haphephobia is significant distress over being touched by anyone, even family or friends. For some people, the fear is specific to touch by people of one gender.
Underlying Problems. One of the most common causes of thoughts like “I don't like being touched anymore” is underlying problems in the relationship. When we hold resentment towards our husbands, we don't feel connected with them. Often the negative feelings towards our partners manifest as sexual aversion.
So while a person could survive without touch, it would be more difficult to do many things. We don't need touch, but it helps us to do many things without our vision, like grabbing a baton during a relay race, or like walking in the dark.
Moreover, the benefits of touch that we are missing out on are not just emotional and social but also physical; it can reduce pain and stress, as well as giving us a general feeling of wellbeing.
Human touch — whether it's from a warm embrace, a kiss, or simply a pat on the back — has extraordinary benefits to our overall well-being. In fact, some experts even say it has healing capabilities.
Aline Zoldbrod told The Healthy that trauma is often stored in the body, which may make touch feel uncomfortable rather than pleasant. "When trauma is stored in implicit memory in the body, people don't like to be hugged or touched. It makes them feel out of control and vulnerable," she explained.
Sometimes children don't want physical affection because they're not in the mood, and other times it could be a specific person they don't want to cuddle. It could just be one of those things, there's no reason why but your child just doesn't want to give them a kiss goodbye.
Everyone's different in terms of how much physical contact they need to feel good, but generally, “after several months, the side effects [of going without it will] begin to feel intense and perhaps overwhelming,” Dr. Alisa Ruby Bash, PsyD, LMFT, a licensed marriage and family therapist, tells HelloGiggles.
Some people just don't like to have their physical space invaded — they may feel threatened by another's proximity or vulnerable if they allow someone to show them warmth or affection. Some people may be mild “germophobes” (like the comic, Howie Mandel) who don't like touching other people's bodies.
Don't impose hugs
“If someone looks like they're going to put their hand out, just follow. You don't have to grab them and go, 'Hey, I'm a hugger,' and make everyone feel uncomfortable.” Also, “if someone says no to a hug, don't dwell on it, just move on. The golden rule is treat people as you want to be treated.