It's also associated with increased rates of depression and antisocial behavior. “Symptoms of abandonment trauma can include extreme insecurity or anxiety within a relationship, obsessive or intrusive thoughts of being abandoned, and also debilitating self-esteem or self regard.”
Summary. Abandonment trauma stems from experiences that make us feel unsafe, insecure, and alone in childhood. It can become overwhelming and lead to anxiety and distrust of others. Therapy and self-care can help people feel prepared to face their abandonment trauma and start addressing how it is affecting their life.
“It will come out like sweat out of our pores as subconscious responses manifest through negative behaviors, depression, sadness, anger, anxiety, or paranoia.” Based on his experience as a therapist, Ramirez also says that people with abandonment trauma are more likely to engage in self-sabotaging behavior.
“Some of the long-term effects of dealing with abandonment issues might include severe difficulty forming relationships with friends or romantic partners, low self-esteem, issues with anger and jealousy, finding it hard to trust partners, and fear of being alone.”
Shattering, Withdrawal, Internalizing, Rage, and Lifting. Each of these stages relate to different aspects of human functioning and trigger different emotional responses. The first letter of each of these words spell SWIRL, a great description of the cyclonic nature of the intensity of healing abandonment.
PTSD from abandonment trauma can leave people feeling anxious and worried about their own physical and emotional safety.
Signs of abandonment issues in adults
They reject people before being rejected themselves. They have a pattern of volatile relationships or going from one relationship to another. They have a core belief that they are unlovable. They may engage in self-harm or have other mental health challenges.
Abandonment leads to anxiety and difficulty trusting people
This can cause us to anticipate and fear abandonment, rejection, and betrayal in our adult relationships. You may even find yourself repeating a pattern of choosing emotionally unavailable partners or friends who abandon or betray you.
S.W.I.R.L. is an acronym which stands for the five stages of abandonment: Shattering, Withdrawal, Internalizing, Rage, and Lifting – introduced in JOURNEY FROM ABANDONMENT.
If your feelings are hurt, you feel betrayed, abandoned, or rejected, and your partner doesnt care or minimizes them, thats a red flag.
People struggling with PTSD may experience flashbacks, nightmares, intense anxiety or panic attacks long after the moment of trauma has passed. This is because neural pathways in the brain have been damaged and reformed by that experience. Some of the additional symptoms of PTSD include the following: Sleeplessness.
A person with BPD may go to extreme lengths to avoid real or perceived abandonment, with many of the relationship issues stemming from this behavior. A person with CPTSD may have issues with trust and staying connected with people, but they don't have the fear of abandonment; that's a telltale sign of BPD.
While many may assume that trauma dumping is typically exhibited by those suffering from post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), this is not necessarily the case. In fact, those with PTSD are less likely to talk about traumatic memories or experiences with others.
“If a person is experiencing significant distress or impairment in their life due to abandonment issues, a mental health professional may diagnose them with a related condition, such as anxiety or depression,” says Dr. Hong.
The Long-Term Effects of Abandonment and Neglect
Mood swings and anger issues later in life can often be traced to abandonment in infancy due to the lack of emotional and other support from parents. Some of the mental health conditions thought to be heavily influenced by abandonment include: Anxiety. Depression.
Those with cPTSD don't fear being abandoned — they often develop a fear of that person or situation as “unsafe” and retreat inward, further isolating themselves. Many with cPTSD had similar upbringings or adult experiences as those with BPD. Both share abuse and neglect as common ground in their early experiences.
Rejection trauma, also known as rejection-sensitive dysphoria (RSD), is a psychological disorder where there is an intense emotional response when someone is rejected or criticised. It can affect an individual's emotional well-being, self-esteem, and social interactions.
Signs of emotional abandonment.
When you want to talk about something, your partner places the blame on you and pulls away from you rather than communicating their genuine feelings. You regularly experience your partner withholding affection, approval, or attention from you.
Characteristics of unhealthy attachments
using a relationship, object, or job to define your sense of worth. relying on others for approval. having a hard time imagining life without the other person or without an object. neglecting your basic needs to prioritize someone else's.
Experiencing Significant Jealousy or Distrust
Lukin, significant jealousy is one of the key signs of an unhealthy emotional attachment such as, “when a person spends a lot of time thinking and worrying about what their partner is doing,” he states “that typically suggests an unhealthy connection.”
Daydreaming. Other subtle signs of trauma are “zoning” or “spacing out.” You might feel disconnected from others or have difficulty staying present in social situations. Emotional trauma can cause you to slow down internally, numbing your emotions or causing you to feel exhausted.