BPD splitting is an unconscious or unintentional reaction to uncomfortable or uncertain situations. This reaction involves the person with borderline personality disorder concluding that something is entirely good or bad with no middle ground. Essentially, it is an all-or-nothing scenario.
'Splitting' is a common BPD symptom. When you split, people become either in the 'good' or 'bad camp. The person you loved yesterday may become your enemy today. When you have quiet BPD, you would not directly confront them or fight for the relationship.
While splitting is common in folks with BPD, it's important to remember not everyone with BPD “splits” and not everyone who experiences splitting has BPD (this can manifest in people who experienced childhood trauma and/or live with other mental illnesses).
People with BPD may be sensitive to rejection and abandonment and are prone to splitting, rage, and impulsivity. If a person with BPD feels rejected or abandoned, they may end the relationship. However, this is usually followed by significant anxiety and regret and efforts to get back together.
People with BPD frequently engage in a thought process called BPD splitting, which causes you to see people as all good or all bad. At first, you might see your favorite person as perfect. However, whenever conflict arises, or if your favorite person tries to set boundaries, you may view these actions as a betrayal.
When stressed, people with borderline personality disorder may develop psychotic-like symptoms. They experience a distortion of their perceptions or beliefs rather than a distinct break with reality. Especially in close relationships, they tend to misinterpret or amplify what other people feel about them.
There's also a lot of anecdotal evidence from other people's experiences that suggest 2-4 years is more common. So, if you want to know how long your relationships might last if you have BPD, it really does depend on the intensity of your condition.
BPD is a mental health condition characterized by unstable relationships, intense emotions, and impulsive behavior, and these challenges can make it difficult to cope with the end of a relationship. Navigating the challenges of ending a relationship can feel confusing and isolating for some individuals with BPD.
For example, if a partner has been devalued and split by a person with BPD, they may deny that their partner got them a birthday gift. Instead, they may engage in distorted thinking, or making wild accusations that they never received the gift, or that it was purchased for someone else.
Quiet BPD can take a toll on interpersonal relationships as you try to hide symptoms. It can also be challenging to maintain relationships due to extreme emotions and instability of moods and behaviors. You may fear rejection from others or become extremely sensitive to perceived criticisms.
Things that can indicate an episode is occurring: Intense angry outbursts. Suicidal thoughts and self-harm behavior. Going to great lengths to feel something, then becoming increasingly avoidant and withdrawn.
Cyclical Nature of BPD Abandonment
The fear of being abandoned often causes people with BPD to form unhealthy attachments. Sometimes, they may abruptly cut off these relationships, effectively abandoning their partners. Other times, they make frantic attempts to hold onto relationships.
What Does Idealization and Devaluation Look Like? A person with BPD may shift from great admiration for a loved one (idealization) to intense anger toward or dislike of that person (devaluation).
Pulling someone into a close relationship and then pushing that person away repeatedly is one of the most well-known symptoms of BPD. It causes the person in question to be confused about where they stand in the relationship.
People with BPD tend to have relationships that are intense and short-lived. You may fall in love quickly, believing that each new person is the one who will make you feel whole, only to be quickly disappointed. Your relationships either seem perfect or horrible, without any middle ground.
Because people with BPD have an intense fear of abandonment, a breakup can leave them feeling desperate and devastated. This is why it's a good idea to have a support network for you and partner, especially if a breakup may occur. This network often includes a mental health professional.
Borderline Personality Marriage Statistics
Unexpectedly, people with BPD do not have higher divorce rates than the general population. By an average age of about 40, the divorce rate for people with BPD is around 35%, and this is comparable to the divorce rate for the average U.S. citizen.
BPD in particular is one of the lesser-known mental illnesses, but all the same it is one of the hardest to reckon with. (Some people dislike the term so much they prefer to refer to emotionally unstable personality disorder.)
Borderline personality disorder (BPD) has long been believed to be a disorder that produces the most intense emotional pain and distress in those who have this condition. Studies have shown that borderline patients experience chronic and significant emotional suffering and mental agony.
Some signs that a person is splitting include: idealizing someone one moment, then later calling them abusive or toxic. not seeing nuance in the relationships or actions of others. cutting people out of their life, then expressing feelings of abandonment.
While people with BPD feel euphoria (ephemeral or occasional intense joy), they are especially prone to dysphoria (a profound state of unease or dissatisfaction), depression, and/or feelings of mental and emotional distress.