Here's one from the Collins English Dictionary: “A grudge is a persistent feeling of resentment, especially one due to some cause, such as an insult or injury.” Urban Dictionary defines a grudge as “a bad feeling or hate that you hold against another person for something bad they did, or you think they did to you.”
Holding a grudge is when you harbor anger, bitterness, resentment, or other negative feelings long after someone has done something to hurt you.
Psychologists say that holding a grudge is: “something that defines us — our anger and victimhood — which gives us a sense of solidness and purpose.” Holding a grudge is a familiar way to get the compassion and comfort we didn't receive when we were wronged.
Some common synonyms of grudge are ill will, malevolence, malice, malignity, spite, and spleen. While all these words mean "the desire to see another experience pain, injury, or distress," grudge implies a harbored feeling of resentment or ill will that seeks satisfaction. never one to harbor a grudge.
Well, research suggests the answer is yes — especially if you hold a grudge for an extended time. In one study, adults who held onto anger and hostility over the course of a decade experienced greater cognitive decline than those who were more apt to forgive.
Holding onto a grudge can significantly impact your mental and physical health. “When we hold onto grudges and resentment, it's like drinking poison and expecting the other person to get sick,” says Angela Buttimer, MS, NCC, RYT, LPC, a licensed psychotherapist at Thomas F.
Negatively affect your mental health: Holding a grudge may increase your chances of experiencing anxiety, depression, and other mental health conditions, according to 2019 research.
INFPs and ENFPs prefer not to hold grudges, though they can certainly take things personally. They want so much to see the good in others that they're more motivated to forgive.
The first records of the word grudge come from the 1400s. It comes from the Old French grouchier, which means “to grumble” and is also the basis of the word grouch. Grudge is probably related to the Middle High German word grogezen, meaning “to complain, cry out.”
"Resentment is the feeling we have been wronged by someone else and holding a grudge is the belief that we will feel better when we have shown the other person how angry we are," Carrie Krawiec, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Troy, Michigan, told INSIDER. "If we can hurt them like they have hurt us."
It's easy to see how, according to the Oxford Dictionary, holding a grudge must necessarily be the opposite of forgiveness: If your resentment persists, you can't stop feeling resentful. That would mean holding a grudge directly means not forgiving someone.
Because people with a Type D personality tend to hide their negative emotions, they may not necessarily feel or act depressed or anxious.
According to the MBTI® Manual, ISFPs were the type most likely to get upset or angry and show it, as well as the type most likely to get upset or angry and not show it.
Many people hold grudges, deep ones, that can last a lifetime. Many are unable to let go of the anger they feel towards those who “wronged” them in the past, even though they may have a strong desire and put in a concerted effort to do so.
He writes, “bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive” (Col. 3:13). Will God forgive you for holding a grudge? No—He will not.
Negative Effects of Unforgiveness
Unforgiveness creates an emotional storm of distress in which feelings of stress, anxiety, depression, insecurity, and fear surface. Unforgiveness also creates a hardened heart. The hardened heart feels anger, resentment, bitterness, and hatred toward the offender.
We replay events on our own and experience the anger and upset over and over again. These negative emotions activate our sympathetic nervous system - they get our hearts pumping and raise our blood pressure.
People with paranoid personality disorder see threats all around them. They tend to hold grudges, dwelling to the point of obsession over past slights they've experienced. These tendencies keep them from forming lasting and close relationships as hostility and general distrust consume their emotional lives.
Sadly, INFPs ranked the lowest for happiness as well as the lowest for life-satisfaction. According to the third edition of the MBTI® Manual, these types also ranked second highest in dissatisfaction with their marriages and intimate relationships.
A toxic person is anyone whose behavior adds negativity and upset to your life. Many times, people who are toxic are dealing with their own stresses and traumas. To do this, they act in ways that don't present them in the best light and usually upset others along the way.
Explains borderline personality disorder (BPD), also known as emotionally unstable personality disorder (EUPD). Includes what it feels like, causes, treatment, support and self-care, as well as tips for friends and family.