Emotionally mature people don't blame others for their mistakes or make excuses for bad behavior. They hold themselves accountable for their own actions and let others do the same. Radical accountability is painstaking. It is hard and uncomfortable.
Emotionally immature people may lack emotional sensitivity, behave in a self-preoccupied manner, and may cause you to question your reality. You may find communication difficult to even impossible. Therefore, it is important to acknowledge and recognize the signs so you can deal with them accordingly.
Emotional immaturity can be the result of insecure attachments during early life experiences, trauma, untreated addiction or mental health problems, and/or lack of deeper introspection or work on oneself.
Emotionally mature people observe their thoughts and feelings in order to effectively manage, communicate, and cope with difficult emotions. Emotional maturity is more than being able to maintain your composure. It's also: understanding what you're feeling.
Emotional immaturity is an ineffectiveness at communicating one's emotions, with a tendency to overdramatize or focus on oneself. 1 Some key characteristics of an emotionally immature person include selfishness and inadequate communication skills.
Individuals who are emotionally immature can be bratty, juvenile, impetuous and unthinking and lack the ability to handle their emotions and tend to react impulsively, without considering the consequences of their actions. They often make the environment toxic.
Four States of Emotional Maturation
They are: Survival (fear-based living); Security (duty-based living), Success (ego based living) and Serenity (love/trust-based living). I want to describe some of the major characteristics of each of these ways of living.
A mature voice is clear to speak out for itself and to be heard. It's not mumbled and not too soft. People with a mature voice articulate their thoughts, ideas and opinions. To speak with clarity, relax yourself and support your speaking with enough air.
To be fair, these behaviors may be both narcissistic and emotionally immature. Passive-aggression can be simply that—passive-aggression. Oppositional behavior may be emotionally immature behavior and may be a symptom of something more egregious such as narcissism and emotional abuse.
Studies say men reach emotional maturity around 43, while 32 years of age is where most women mature. Considering both genders join the workforce or start a family much earlier than they have a decent level of control over their emotional state, this data explains why sometimes we choose the wrong paths in life.
Some research suggests this is the case. A now-famous study by Nickelodeon UK, from 2013, states that the age at which the average man reaches full emotional maturity is 43. This is 11 years later than women who reach this state at about age 32.
Even as full-grown adults, we can work on emotional maturity through a form of psychotherapy called reparenting. “Reparenting means doing the work to become aware of your own emotions, needs, and values,” says Dr. LePera.
Signs of emotional unavailability include fear of intimacy, trouble expressing emotions, and commitment anxiety. “It's not something you can fix for them, nor is it something they can quickly and easily change about themselves for you,” Jernigan says.
They put into practice what they learn.
Maturity has to do with intelligence, and intelligence is, among other things, the capacity to learn from experience. Thus, mature people have an awareness of their own lives that they use to make informed decisions. They don't just complain; they tend to be optimistic.
Mental maturity refers to having a good understanding of who you are. Emotional maturity is concerned with managing your emotions no matter the circumstances.
People can grow and change. If someone you care about is emotionally immature, you may be able to help them learn to behave more like an adult. If they don't want to change, speak to a counselor about how to care for yourself while dealing with an emotionally immature person.
Immature personality disorder (IPD) was a type of personality disorder diagnosis. It is characterized by lack of emotional development, low tolerance of stress and anxiety, inability to accept personal responsibility, and reliance on age-inappropriate defense mechanisms.
When trauma impairs your ability to develop full emotional maturity, this is known as arrested psychological development. Trauma can “freeze” your emotional response at the age you experienced it. When you feel or act emotionally younger than your actual age, this is known as age regression.