Common excuses we make for narcissists include "No one else gets them" and "I'm not perfect either."
“I was only joking” is probably the most common excuse narcissists use. It's many narcissists go-to when they're called out for their insults. The narcissist claims the insult was a joke, and backtracks. Leaving doubt in the mind of the recipient, which usually gets them off the hook.
They Face a Setback, Disappointment, or Conflict
A narcissist can become easily enraged if a setback occurs in their life, job, or relationship. Not getting their way results in both a loss of control and a bruised ego.
Sometimes, narcissists will play an extreme pity card by telling you they have a mental health condition, and you are a bad person for not excusing them as a result. "They might say they have a substance abuse problem because they are depressed, or because they're anxious," Neo said.
The best way you can tell if a narcissist is lying is by aggressively pursuing inconsistencies and being aware of a surplus of low probability events embedded into the narcissist's stories.
Although narcissists act superior, entitled and boastful, underneath their larger-than-life facade lies their greatest fear: That they are ordinary. For narcissists, attention is like oxygen. Narcissists believe only special people get attention.
Most narcissists enjoy an irrational and brief burst of relief after having suffered emotionally ("narcissistic injury") or after having sustained a loss. It is a sense of freedom, which comes with being unshackled.
Type As can also be dangerous to narcissists
Although they can be targeted, type A people can also become a narcissist's worst nightmare. One of the most important defenses against dark personalities is having strong boundaries yourself, and type A people are usually aware they have the right to build them.
“To what extent do you agree with this statement: 'I am a narcissist.'” Scientists believe that this question could be all researchers need to make a quick and easy diagnosis of narcissism.
There is no grand list of specific phrases narcissists use, but there are common phrases to look out for like, “My exes are all crazy,” and, “You're too sensitive,” as well as a host of manipulation tactics to try to control you.
You can expect grandiose narcissists to lash out when wounded. The more insulted they feel, the more rage they're likely to feel. And the more intense their rage, the more viciously they're likely to attack. The problem with them is as insidious as it is tragic.
He doesn't want you to know you are lovable and have power in the relationship. Your narcissist wants you to feel small, unlovable, powerless, and without value. This is how he controls you.
In fact, narcissists are often attracted to strong, confident, and self-assured women. While this may seem counterintuitive, it is important to realize that the narcissistic traits of grandiosity and confidence are really a mask for deep insecurity.
For someone with narcissism, they fantasize about having unlimited power, success, beauty, and love. They see things in extremes. Everything is over the top and they deserve the best of everything. By having unlimited success, power, brilliance, or love, they can maintain the belief they are superior to others.
A monumental weakness in the narcissist is the failure to look internally and flesh out what needs to be worked on. Then, of course, the next step is to spend time improving. The narcissist sabotages any possibility of looking deep within.
In addition to deflecting blame, they will devalue you and make you wish you had never confronted them. Devaluing is a huge part of the narcissistic relationship. When it comes to devaluing you, catching them in a lie will be no different than dealing with any other conflict.