When we experience attraction or develop a crush, chemicals are released in the brain creating a stress and reward response. The first spark of attraction happens in the ventral tegmental area of the brain which produces the “feel good” neurotransmitter known as dopamine.
It starts with a crush
That first spark of attraction ignites a region buried deep inside the brain called the ventral tegmental area, or VTA. Recognizing a potential reward in the making, the VTA begins producing a chemical called dopamine, often called the “feel-good” neurotransmitter.
Dopamine rushes provide general motivation— not just romantic eagerness, so the presence of a crush can help us perform better at work, feel more creatively productive, or even be more active. And what's more, that norepinephrine will often help us feel more awake, alert, and attuned to the world around us.
According to Glatter, because having a crush on someone triggers the release of dopamine and serotonin — aka the feel-good neurotransmitters that produce a feeling of happiness and fulfillment, he explains — the beginning stages of love can make you feel good mentally, and may even act as a form of self-motivation.
Having a crush that doesn't work out can feel like getting your hopes up for nothing. You may be experiencing sadness, depression, stress, or another mental health concern.
Psychologically speaking, crushes occur when a person of any age projects their ideas and values onto another person whom they believe possesses certain attributes and with whom they want to be associated. Then, the person with the crush attaches strong positive feelings to this magical image that they have created.
When we experience attraction or develop a crush, chemicals are released in the brain creating a stress and reward response. The first spark of attraction happens in the ventral tegmental area of the brain which produces the “feel good” neurotransmitter known as dopamine.
Despite the differences, Cacioppo told INSIDER it is possible for a crush to develop into a relationship. “With crushing, you're OK with the distance because you're not fully in it yet," Kolawole added. But if you begin to have shared, in-person experiences with your crush, an attachment system is created.
The reason why crushes feel so intense is that the person with the crush craves deep intimacy with their object. It's the kind of closeness that is difficult (but not impossible) to come by in friendship. Imagining that intimacy is euphoric. But with true intimacy, you get to see the best and worst in someone.
You could be suffering from Limerence — a cognitive state of obsession and infatuation. You may be fixated with having your feelings reciprocated. You refuse to give up because you know it's meant to be. Very common in the world of Twin Flames.
The reason you can't stop thinking about your crush is because your brain's motivation system has become hypersensitive. You've accidentally trained yourself to associate thinking about your crush with reward, and it is a lesson it has learned very well.
Crush is defined as a brief but intense infatuation for someone, especially someone inappropriate or unattainable. Infatuation is defined as an intense but short-lived passion or admiration for someone or something. Unlike crushes and states of infatuation, love truly sees and accepts their object of affection.
Tennov suggests that limerence can last a few weeks to several decades, the average ranging from 18 months to three years. The length can depend on whether feelings are reciprocated, which can make limerence linger.
The most common sign of having a crush is the feeling that you have a million butterflies flying around inside you when that special someone is around. It can also feel like your heart does a leap when you see your crush and you feel warm and giddy. Do you suddenly feel nervous but excited at the same time?
You are still in the most beautiful phase of falling in love—the one where you get tingly sensations in the stomach on seeing them. You did not get a chance to try it out and see if it worked or not. You did not get a chance to grow out of the heady feeling. And that's why it hurts.
Pay attention to awkward behavior.
If they blush around you, laugh uncontrollably for almost no reason, can't look you in the eye, or fidgets a lot, then you have your answer. These are all tell-tale signs of someone who is crushing.
If a boy really has a crush on you, then he'll be likely to give you all of his attention. He'll turn his body toward you, make eye contact, and won't look around for his other friends or text them during your conversation (unless he uses his phone as a crutch because he's nervous).
Your feelings don't fade
One sign that this is more than a crush: "Your feelings don't dissipate over time but get stronger and deeper," says Irina Firstein, LCSW. So basically, if you've been feeling this way about your special person for a looong time, it's definitely possible that you're in love.
If your crush feels they can open up to you about anything, they probably like you. It is true if they tell you about things they don't usually share with others, such as serious problems at home or work or something they don't share with others. If they trust you enough, it's a sign they are attracted to you.
There is a difference between a healthy and innocent crush and an unhealthy infatuation with someone. It's essential to know the difference because it can impact your entire life. If you think you have a healthy crush, but in actuality, it's an unhealthy infatuation, it could be detrimental.
So why do some of us do this? Obsessive crushes aren't just frustrating - they could be a type of addiction, according to researchers. Dr Gery Karantzas, an Associate Professor at Deakin University studying love and relationships, said some of us get an emotional "reward" from fantasising about a crush.
To start, when you have a crush on someone, the stress and reward systems in the brain are activated, which are "associated with stimulation, action, and revving up the mind and body in some manner," Freeman tells Elite Daily. "The actions of those systems cause us to feel 'giddy, excited, and nervous.