Narcissists may use the silent treatment to communicate they are unhappy with you, to control you, or as a form of punishment. If the narcissist uses the silent treatment to deflect responsibility for something they have done wrong, it can also be a form of narcissistic gaslighting.
Often, a narcissist will retaliate by ignoring you. This is a means to punish you for puncturing their delusions. They're also avoiding you because a narcissist's sense of self is too unstable to resolve conflict. They are putting you in a position to make you desperate for their approval.
A narcissist's silent treatment can last for hours, days, weeks, or even months. Our survey among 500 people who have experienced narcissistic abuse revealed that on average, a narcissist's silent treatment lasts four-and-a-half days and usually ends when the narcissist needs more narcissistic supply.
By going stone-cold silent on their victims, narcissists retain the upper hand in the relationship. In this particular case, they'll use the lack of communication as a form of punishment and therefore make their already downtrodden victims feel even more powerless, insignificant, and invisible.
If you've ever caught the narcissist cheating or something else wrongful in your relationship, then they will use the silent treatment in this situation. Why? Well, because the goal for them is to always look innocent, and they cannot possibly be innocent when they've been caught.
If you have the energy, acknowledge the narcissist's feelings and let them know what they're feeling has significance. Encourage them to talk about how they're feeling and work toward having a conversation about how the silent treatment affects you and better ways to get your feelings across than the silent treatment.
Narcissists need control, which is often the reason why they ignore people. They do not like to feel vulnerable or exposed and will use their power to forgive someone for maintaining that control. Unfortunately, narcissists also lack empathy, so it can be challenging to understand how their behaviour affects others.
If they give you the silent treatment, don't respond. Don't answer their calls or texts, don't check on them or care for them when they are sick and don't offer them any kind of support. –Walk away from the relationship.
Silence can be a powerful weapon against narcissists. By refusing to engage, you deny them the attention and validation they need to feel important. Silence can be a form of boundary-setting, a way to protect your mental health, and a way to take back control of the situation.
Narcissists sometimes disappear to punish you for something they believe you've done wrong. Then reappear when they've decided to “forgive” you. It's their way of conditioning you to do as you're told, through reward and punishment. They also control the relationship.
I had no idea that responding to the silent treatment gives the person doing it a false sense of control. That's definitely not OK. Left unchecked, the silent treatment becomes a pattern of behavior and emotional abuse that is used to manipulate over time.
Narcissists may use the silent treatment to communicate they are unhappy with you, to control you, or as a form of punishment. If the narcissist uses the silent treatment to deflect responsibility for something they have done wrong, it can also be a form of narcissistic gaslighting.
Devaluation occurs when the narcissist no longer believes you provide any value to their image or sense of worth. They devalue you to make you feel powerless, so they can feel powerful. The reason that led to the ignoring from the narcissist isn't important because the reason often doesn't make sense to the outsider.
The best way to shut down a narcissist is to walk away from them. If all else fails, you can physically remove yourself from the conversation. Even if they keep talking, simply turn around and walk away. If they follow you, close the door.
The relationship cycle typical of extreme narcissistic abuse generally follows a pattern. Individuals in emotionally abusive relationships experience a dizzying whirlwind that includes three stages: idealization, devaluing, and discarding.
At the end of a relationship, a narcissist will often spiral down a long-winded gauntlet of manipulation tactics. They may blame you for causing the relationship to fail, work hard to keep you to stay with them, make lofty promises to change their behavior, or badmouth you to everyone around them.
Narcissistic rage occurs when a narcissist's beliefs about their perceived importance or grandiosity are confronted. In turn, they respond with extreme anger toward the perceived threat. Whether narcissistic rage results from criticism, losing control, or minor setbacks, being on the receiving end can be terrifying.
The silent treatment, while sometimes seemingly harmless when talking about it, can be a highly damaging and effective form of manipulation, coercion, and control used by toxic people. It is common, even though many victims feel alone and like they cant talk about it because no one will believe them or understand.
The person using the silent treatment may abruptly leave the house and stay out, or completely ignore the other partner the rest of the night, knowing this would be upsetting. In some cases, the use of the silent treatment may last for days or weeks.
The act of ghosting is a power move that someone with narcissistic personality disorder may use. There are many reasons why someone might ghost you. It may be because they lost interest and want to avoid the conflict of telling you this personally. It may be they want to see your reaction and how much you care.
Simply put, narcissists hate being ignored. They probably want to make you feel ashamed, regretful, and rattled. They want to be in control and will go to any length to keep feeling empowered. It's critical to understand that a narcissist will not leave you alone the first time you ignore them.