If you call out the narcissist about anything they feel like could expose them, expect rage. This could be commenting on their behaviors or calling them out on a lie. The narcissist rages to push people away and shut down any and all further communication.
If you catch a narcissist in a lie and confront them, you will definitely face at least one of the Four D's. They will either deny, deflect, devalue, and/or dismiss you. Deny. “It wasn't me.”
If you haven't noticed yet, the narcissist is always the victim. If you attempt to expose them, they'll attack you for bringing up all their flaws after they had “the worst day” at work. They'll blame their abusive behavior on a previous relationship or sob story about their upbringing (which probably isn't even true).
This is very typical narcissistic behaviour. Narcissists could never admit they would have done anything wrong. In order to protect their fragile ego, they continue to lie and gaslight, even themselves. This also means that you cannot “catch out” a Narcissist when they are lying.
Draw attention to a narcissist's contradictions to expose them. Malignant narcissists will share incompatible ideas and statements as it suits them. Whenever you spot an inconsistency, nicely comment on it in a roundabout way without being combative.
If you want to confront a narcissist directly, try sending them an email instead of talking in person so that they can't interrupt or talk over you. If they're not willing to admit their wrongdoing, then it's best to distance yourself from them. Remember that their lies are only going to hurt you in the long run.
The real reason why simply confronting a narcissist and calling them out for their behavior won't work is simple: they're not actually listening to you. If they truly are a narcissist, they have never been listening, and are especially unlikely to take any criticism or feedback on board.
When a narcissist's position has been exposed as false, arbitrary, or untenable, he will suddenly become evasive, articulate half-truths, lie, flat-out contradict themselves and freely rewrite history (making things up as they go along). This is why at such times they don't seem like adults so much as 6-year-olds.
When a narcissist gets humiliated they experience a narcissistic injury. This triggers their suppressed painful emotions and compromises their emotional stability. To stabilize themselves, narcissists could use narcissistic rage, self-victimization, and/or discarding to regain control of their painful emotions.
When you call out a narcissist, it's like poking a bear. They don't hear the message, only the anger. This increases their own rage and causes them to lash out. It's a lose-lose situation because what's really going on is that they are projecting onto you their own behavior by blaming you for it.
Narcissistic parents are often emotionally abusive to their children, holding them to impossible and constantly changing expectations. Those with narcissistic personality disorder are highly sensitive and defensive. They tend to lack self-awareness and empathy for other people, including their own children.
It comes hand-in-hand with this that narcissists hate being criticised or called out. Which is exactly why there's one word in particular narcissistic people cannot stand: "no".
There's nothing a narcissist fears more than being left alone. Block their phone number, unfriend them on social media, and don't even acknowledge their presence if you're ever in the same room with one another. This won't just scare a narcissist—it will devastate them.
They can know they're hurting your feelings, but as long as it elevates their status, they may not care. Someone living with narcissism does cry. They can feel regret, remorse, and sadness. These emotions, however, don't often have roots in empathy.
When a narcissist is exposed or when the narcissist knows you have figured him out, they will never admit the truth even if it is staring them in the face. A narcissist will lay several false accusations and try to make him right. They will say things you didn't utter and misinterpret all your intentions.
The narcissistic liar
This type of person never admits to making a mistake, even when the mistake could be a growth opportunity for your PR team. He or she is often a "people person" seeking attention when things go right, bragging or exaggerating accomplishments, while being quick to place blame and criticize others.
What inspires lying? Simply put, the NPD lies in order to inflate his or her own self-esteem. They lie to the other person, to beat them. By inflating truths, they attempt to make their own skills or abilities seem superior to the other person.