Many people diagnosed with BPD have unstable relationships and distressing and rapid changes in emotions, leading to frequent crises. These crises are critical periods, as they may lead to increased drug and alcohol use, fewer contacts with health professionals and self‐harm, which may be life‐threatening.
They present with a range of symptoms and behaviours, including behavioural disturbance, self-harm, impulsive aggression, and short-lived psychotic symptoms, as well as with intense anxiety, depression and anger. As a result they can be regular users of psychiatric and acute hospital emergency services.
During the crisis, patients with BPD may present to the primary care facility in a disinhibited state (i.e., impulsive, angry, raging, verbally and/or physically aggressive) and may display transient psychotic symptoms.
Someone with BPD may go to great lengths to feel something, as well as becoming increasingly withdrawn and avoidant during an episode. Paranoid thoughts of everyone being out to get them and hating them are also common during these times. Episodes can also be extreme highs, bursts of euphoria and positive emotions.
Some signs that a person is splitting include: idealizing someone one moment, then later calling them abusive or toxic. not seeing nuance in the relationships or actions of others. cutting people out of their life, then expressing feelings of abandonment.
Borderline Personality Disorder Diagnosis
These experiences often result in impulsive actions and unstable relationships. A person with BPD may experience intense episodes of anger, depression, and anxiety that may last from only a few hours to days.”
There's also a lot of anecdotal evidence from other people's experiences that suggest 2-4 years is more common. So, if you want to know how long your relationships might last if you have BPD, it really does depend on the intensity of your condition.
People with BPD are chronically unsure about their lives, whether it is with their family, personal relationships, work, or future aspirations. They also experience persistent uncertain and insecure thoughts and feelings about their self-image, long-term goals, friendships, and values.
Borderline personality disorder usually begins by early adulthood. The condition seems to be worse in young adulthood and may gradually get better with age. If you have borderline personality disorder, don't get discouraged.
Impulsive, self-destructive behavior may be an attempt to ward off rising anxiety related to the fear of being left alone. The flip side of the fear is the hope that a relationship will be completely soothing.
Many people who live with borderline personality disorder don't know they have it and may not realize there's a healthier way to behave and relate to others.
According to the DSM-5, BPD can be diagnosed as early as at 12 years old if symptoms persist for at least one year. However, most diagnoses are made during late adolescence or early adulthood.
Additionally, living with untreated borderline personality disorder can leave someone feeling disconnected, unhappy, and unable to build a healthy sense of self-esteem. If you think that you may have BPD, don't delay in seeking professional support.
Dissociation in Quiet Borderline Personality Disorder
Many sufferers of quiet BPD experience feeling disconnected from themselves and others. When their feelings become too unbearable, a person with quiet BPD frequently will detach emotionally from their experience, also known as dissociation.
Calmly reassure the person with BPD when setting limits. Say something like, “I love you and I want our relationship to work, but I can't handle the stress caused by your behavior. I need you to make this change for me.”
You tend to shut down when feelings get overwhelming. When you dissociate, you become empty and numb. You may experience depersonalization and derealisation, where you feel out of touch with reality, like you are observing yourself from the outside, or experience reality as unreal.
Step Away & Chill
People with BPD experience intense emotions when most distressed, making it tough to self-soothe. So, if you struggle with BPD rage, take some time out when you start to feel the anger brewing. This basic act can give you the necessary space to think before you react.
What others perceive as a simple mistake to be brushed off, people with BPD might perceive as a serious wrongdoing. You might hold onto a grudge for days, or until the person has apologized sufficiently.
People with BPD score low on cognitive empathy but high on emotional empathy. This suggests that they do not easily understand other peoples' perspectives, but their own emotions are very sensitive. This is important because it could align BPD with other neurodiverse conditions.
BPD splitting destroys relationships because the behaviour can be impulsive or reckless in order to alleviate the pain, often hurting loved ones in the process. It can feel like everyone abandons or hurts them, often causing them to look for evidence, and creating problems from nothing.
Another hallmark of borderline personality disorder is having a favorite person—usually a family member, romantic partner, or someone in a supportive role, such as a teacher or coach. For someone with this type of BPD relationship, a “favorite person” is someone they rely on for comfort, happiness, and validation.