Gaslighting. Some narcissists are very good at gaslighting and/or making others question their sense of reality. The manipulation makes you doubtful of your own sanity. This is a severe form of abuse and may cause anxiety and low self-esteem in the victim.
A narcissist's greatest weapon may be to turn a person against him or herself. Using four techniques, a narcissist may underhandedly dismantle a person's mental health by attacking from the inside out. A person who is aware of these manipulations may be able to escape before aspects of the self are compromised.
Gaslighting: The Narcissist's Favorite Weapon. Gaslighting is a method of manipulation to gain power and make others question their own reality. Gaslighting is a form of abuse that is just as devastating as physical abuse but it is much harder to see.
Narcissists often look for victims who struggle with insecurity and low self-esteem. People who think less of themselves and struggle with the “I am not enough” mindset tend to attract toxic partners. People with self-esteem issues tend to think of themselves as imperfect or unlovable.
Narcissists are self-obsessed and control others for their personal gain; they're notorious for using a few specific tactics for getting and maintaining this control. First, narcissists guarantee success by targeting codependents: They also try to make others feel special using compliments and flattery.
Outsmart the narcissist by refusing to stoop to their level.
A narcissist thrives on conflict, and will take control of the conversation as soon as you get defensive or try to fight back. Instead, you can take control by making empathetic statements about the situation, which will help the narcissist calm down.
Narcissists are hurt by challenges or threats to their superior and grandiose self-image (also known as narcissistic injury). Their sense of entitlement and lack of empathy means they will attempt to destroy the culprit by any means necessary.
Narcissists want to have their own way. They tend to be rule-oriented and controlling. They are inflexible. It benefits narcissists to have partners who are willing to go with the flow and not make a big deal over anything, ever.
A monumental weakness in the narcissist is the failure to look internally and flesh out what needs to be worked on. Then, of course, the next step is to spend time improving. The narcissist sabotages any possibility of looking deep within.
Although narcissists act superior, entitled and boastful, underneath their larger-than-life facade lies their greatest fear: That they are ordinary. For narcissists, attention is like oxygen. Narcissists believe only special people get attention.
Narcissists are frightened, fragile people.
Rejection, humiliation, and even the tiniest of defeats can shake them to their core. This leaves narcissists wholly focused on their image.
It comes hand-in-hand with this that narcissists hate being criticised or called out. Which is exactly why there's one word in particular narcissistic people cannot stand: "no".
Cerebral narcissists, also known as intellectual narcissists, are individuals who try to fulfill their narcissistic supply through their perceived intelligence. While intellectual narcissists are generally smart, they may present as if they are more educated than they really are.
For someone with narcissism, they fantasize about having unlimited power, success, beauty, and love. They see things in extremes. Everything is over the top and they deserve the best of everything. By having unlimited success, power, brilliance, or love, they can maintain the belief they are superior to others.
Most narcissists enjoy an irrational and brief burst of relief after having suffered emotionally ("narcissistic injury") or after having sustained a loss. It is a sense of freedom, which comes with being unshackled.
Narcissists are attracted to certain types of people. Rather than weak, vulnerable people, they tend to go for the strong-willed and talented. They are also attracted to people who reflect well on themselves.
Type As can also be dangerous to narcissists
Although they can be targeted, type A people can also become a narcissist's worst nightmare. One of the most important defenses against dark personalities is having strong boundaries yourself, and type A people are usually aware they have the right to build them.
“This happens when, again, there's such an inflated view of the self that you're not able to process and respect the needs, wants, and feelings of others,” says Dr. Hoffman. This lack of empathy in narcissists is what makes their behaviors so inherently hurtful, whether they're “trying” to be hurtful or not.