The silent treatment, also known as stonewalling, is when one partner withdraws from a relationship and refuses to communicate. ( ABC Everyday: Nathan Nankervis/Pexels)
Resorting to complete silence, as a way of getting back at a partner, after a disagreement or wrongdoing is probably as old as marriage itself. The phenomenon is commonly known as silent treatment. It's the opposite of communication in marriage, which has always been described as what oxygen is to life.
The silent treatment (also known as withholding) is used to punish and regain control of a person. It may feel good to ignore your partner when you feel slighted but, it keeps you from finding real solutions to the problems that are bugging you the most.
Research has found that people who received the silent treatment experienced a threat to their needs of belonging, self-esteem, control, and meaningful existence. This type of behavior reinforces the feeling that someone we care about wants nothing to do with us. It can feel as though you don't exist.
Avoidance: In some cases, people stay silent in a conversation because they do not know what to say or want to avoid conflict. Communication: A person may use the silent treatment if they do not know how to express their feelings but want their partner to know that they are upset.
In general, the silent treatment is a manipulation tactic that can leave important issues in a relationship unresolved. It also can leave the partner on the receiving end feeling worthless, unloved, hurt, confused, frustrated, angry, and unimportant.
Findings from his in-depth analysis revealed that the silent treatment is 'tremendously' damaging to a relationship. It decreases relationship satisfaction for both partners, diminishes feelings of intimacy, and reduces the capacity to communicate in a way that's healthy and meaningful.
Findings from his in-depth analysis revealed that the silent treatment is 'tremendously' damaging to a relationship. It decreases relationship satisfaction for both partners, diminishes feelings of intimacy, and reduces the capacity to communicate in a way that's healthy and meaningful.
Marriage without communication, without exchange of thoughts, feelings and emotions is unsustainable. You might find that you're not really mindful of making each other a priority, and so when the communication starts to slip the marriage can head into a danger zone.
Mariage blanc, a marriage without consummation. Josephite marriage, a marriage sexless out of religious motivation. Marriage of convenience, a marriage for reasons other than love and commitment. Lavender marriage, a marriage concealing discriminated sexual orientation.
If you aren't in immediate danger and you need to talk or find someplace to go, contact the National Domestic Abuse Hotline (800-799-7233). This 24/7 hotline can put you in touch with service providers and shelters across the United States.
Usually, these four horsemen clip-clop into the heart of a marriage in the following order: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.
Essentially, the point of the silent treatment is to make the victim feel confused, stressed, guilty, ashamed, not good enough, or unstable enough so that they would do what the manipulator wants.
The silent treatment can be deliberate and enacted with some pleasure and cruelty, which is why it is named as an indicator or aspect of abusive relationships, and can be a form of domestic violence.
This may be a given, but there is a wide variety of overwhelming emotions that come with being ignored. Feelings of loneliness, low self-esteem, and despair can occur. The effects of silent treatment as abuse can also contribute to depression, chronic fatigue syndrome, and fibromyalgia.
The silent treatment is strikingly similar to gaslighting, as both flourish in power and control. In fact, some therapists call the silent treatment a form of gaslighting, used to cause personal uncertainty, and a sense of doubt when considering goals, self-views and worldviews.
Silent treatment can be an immature way of dealing with situations and its practice should not be made a habit of. Imagine you have upset your loved one for some reason and they are angry with you.
The silent treatment is a particularly insidious form of abuse because it might force the victim to reconcile with the perpetrator in an effort to end the behavior, even if the victim doesn't know why they're apologizing. “It's especially controlling because it deprives both sides from weighing in,” Williams said.