Adults that have experienced abandonment often display negative behaviors in current relationships. Among these symptoms include issues with intimacy, relationship sabotage, insecurity, codependency, being a "people pleaser", etc.
Abandonment issues may stem from abuse, neglect or psychosocial stress experienced during childhood, such as divorce, death or illness. These traumatic experiences may have a significant effect on brain development and lead to psychiatric symptoms, such as depression and substance abuse disorders, later in life.
Symptoms of fear of abandonment
overly sensitive to criticism. difficulty trusting in others. difficulty making friends unless you can be sure they like you. taking extreme measures to avoid rejection or separation.
Abandonment issues are a form of anxiety that occurs when an individual has a strong fear of losing loved ones. People with abandonment issues can have difficulties in relationships. They may exhibit symptoms such as codependency, clinginess, or manipulative behavior.
People with borderline personality disorder fear rejection and abandonment, partly because they do not want to be alone. Doctors diagnose borderline personality disorder based on specific symptoms, including frequently changing relationships, self-image, and mood and self-destructive, impulsive behavior.
Caregiver neglect or abandonment can be a significant source of trauma but is often overlooked in older teens. Those who experience parental abandonment may struggle with self-image and self-esteem as adults.
What is Abandonment Trauma? Abandonment trauma can be defined as the behavior and emotional response that someone has as a result of experiencing severe neglect or harm in the form of abandonment. It can happen at any time in life and feeling physically or emotionally neglected can be deeply painful.
Seek out the help of a mental health professional, such as a therapist or counselor. They can help you overcome fears of being abandoned. They'll also work with you to understand where the fear originates and what you can do when you sense the fear rising.
Fears of abandonment are often rooted in past hurt, and your partner's experiences may have given them trust issues. Your partner may even feel the need to pull away from you to try and protect themselves. Working through each abandonment fear will require you to prove yourself.
Women with abandonment issues live in fear of being exposed, as they often equate their problems with personal failure. Ongoing failure in relationships and the resulting confusion leads to feelings of powerlessness that causes a push-pull in relationships which keeps the cycle going.
Abandonment wounds leave us feeling like we need to hold-on, fearing disconnection, worrying about future disappointments and worrying about potential threats and losses, leaving us feeling perpetually insecure and doubtful in ourselves, in relationships and in the world.
Emotionally absent or cold mothers can be unresponsive to their children's needs. They may act distracted and uninterested during interactions, or they could actively reject any attempts of the child to get close. They may continue acting this way with adult children.
Emotional abandonment occurs when parents are physically present but emotionally absent. There are there and not there at the same time. This form of neglect negatively impacts a child's self-esteem. The younger a child is when he or she experiences this form of abuse, the more damaging it becomes.
Emotional abandonment is, “other people not meeting your emotional needs, leaving you feeling rejected, unloved, or painfully lonely,” explains Kibby McMahon, PhD, a clinical psychologist and co-host of the podcast “A Little Help for Our Friends.”
Abandonment fear often stems from childhood loss. This loss could be related to a traumatic event, such as the loss of a parent through death or divorce. It can also come from not getting enough physical or emotional care. These early childhood experiences can lead to a fear of being abandoned by others later in life.
Abandonment trauma, also known as PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) of abandonment, is caused by experiences that make us feel unsafe, insecure, and alone as children. The emotional distress that stems from this type of trauma can persist throughout the lifespan and lead to many health complications.
When one parent abandons their home, relationship, or their child, it can lead to severe consequences for that parent. Consequences can include a loss of custody and parental rights when facing a judge. It is important to have a lawyer present and to provide a valid argument against abandonment.
Breaking the Abandonment Cycle
The best way to break the abandonment cycle and release the pattern from childhood is by exploring childhood issues and focus on healing your wounds. Remember, these wounds are deep and often remain hidden, so be patient.
Anxious attachment style often develops in response to being abandoned as a child or living with the persistent fear of being abandoned throughout childhood. This abandonment/fear of abandonment causes children and then their adult selves to feel insecure in their close relationships.