The American Psychological Association defines emotional maturity as “a high and appropriate level of emotional control and expression.” Emotional immaturity, on the other hand, is “a tendency to express emotions without restraint or disproportionately to the situation.”.
Emotional immaturity can be the result of insecure attachments during early life experiences, trauma, untreated addiction or mental health problems, and/or lack of deeper introspection or work on oneself. It can manifest as self-centeredness, narcissism, and poor management of conflict.
An emotionally immature person can display behavior that is disrespectful towards others and makes the environment toxic. However, there are ways to improve your emotional intelligence if you are willing to put in the effort. This will improve not only your relationships with others but also your mental health.
You'll feel this way because an emotionally immature person does not have the capacity internally to be there for your feelings. They lack the ability to have empathy for how you are feeling, so they will dismiss, criticize, or analyze your feelings rather than acknowledge and validate your emotions.
Immature personality disorder (IPD) was a type of personality disorder diagnosis. It is characterized by lack of emotional development, low tolerance of stress and anxiety, inability to accept personal responsibility, and reliance on age-inappropriate defense mechanisms.
People can grow and change. If someone you care about is emotionally immature, you may be able to help them learn to behave more like an adult. If they don't want to change, speak to a counselor about how to care for yourself while dealing with an emotionally immature person.
When trauma impairs your ability to develop full emotional maturity, this is known as arrested psychological development. Trauma can “freeze” your emotional response at the age you experienced it. When you feel or act emotionally younger than your actual age, this is known as age regression.
Be on the lookout for these key signs of immaturity: An inability to communicate kindly, honestly, and effectively. An unwillingness to take personal responsibility (e.g., a refusal to make heartfelt apologies). A lack of emotional regulation, such as being hot-tempered or prone to tantrums.
Take accountability for your actions.
Everyone makes mistakes; however, the way you handle them is a sign of your emotional maturity level. Projecting your errors on others is a sign of emotional immaturity. Taking responsibility for what you've done wrong shows that you are mature.
Narcissism is an extreme form of emotional immaturity. It exists on a spectrum. The narcissistic label is often applied to run-of-the-mill emotional immaturity.
Origin of immature
First recorded in 1540–50, immature is from the Latin word immātūrus unripe, hence, untimely. See im-2, mature.
Researchers found that certain cognitive abilities reach adult levels by the age of 16, while emotional maturity isn't attained till after 22. The study appears in the October issue of American Psychologist, a journal of the American Psychological Association.
Red flags in a relationship include excessive jealousy and frequent lying. You should also be wary of a partner who frequently criticizes you or puts you down. Another major red flag is an unwillingness to compromise — relationships shouldn't be one-sided.
Someone's psychological or emotional age is often evident in emotional reactions and habits. Signs of emotional childishness include emotional escalations, blaming, lies, and name-calling. Someone who is emotionally childish may also have poor impulse control, need to be the center of attention, or engage in bullying.
Traumatic experiences can initiate strong emotions and physical reactions that can persist long after the event. Children may feel terror, helplessness, or fear, as well as physiological reactions such as heart pounding, vomiting, or loss of bowel or bladder control.
Intrusive memories
Recurrent, unwanted distressing memories of the traumatic event. Reliving the traumatic event as if it were happening again (flashbacks) Upsetting dreams or nightmares about the traumatic event. Severe emotional distress or physical reactions to something that reminds you of the traumatic event.
Childhood trauma in adults also results in feeling disconnected, and being unable to relate to others. Studies have shown that adults that experience childhood trauma were more likely to struggle with controlling emotions, and had heightened anxiety, depression, and anger.
There is no significant difference in emotional maturity among ADHD and normal children.
Age regression may be the result of a medical or psychiatric issue. For example, some individuals experiencing significant distress or pain may revert to childlike behavior as a means to cope with anxiety or fear. Certain mental health issues make age regression more likely.
Peter Pan Syndrome is traditionally thought of as a situation in which a grown man is childish and immature, despite his age. The condition, which is not considered an official mental disorder, is also known as Little Prince (or Princess) Syndrome.
And 15 common traits of grown-up people.
Studies say men reach emotional maturity around 43, while 32 years of age is where most women mature.
Women reach full emotional maturity around age 32, while men finish maturing around age 43.
A recent study out of the University of California, Berkeley shows that our EQ generally rises steadily throughout our working lives, peaking at the mature age of 60.