“We all know someone who is friendly, easily talks to anyone, and has a way of leaving an interaction with the other person feeling extra good about themselves — this is an example of innocent flirtation,” Kotlarski indicates.
Innocent flirting is a lighthearted and playful form of social interaction that involves casual, friendly banter, compliments, and teasing without any serious intent or expectation to pursue a romantic or sexual relationship.
Harmless Flirting
This can mean buying a drink in a social setting, freely giving compliments, side arm hugs or other non-sexual touches, a platonic friendship. The term “harmless” is only applicable if you are willing to disclose this behavior (without shame or concern) to your partner.
In a research project, Jeffrey Hall, Assistant Professor of Communication Studies at the University of Kansas defined five flirting styles; playful, traditional, physical, sincere and polite.
They draw the line: Natural flirts know when and where to stop. They will not lead someone on unnecessarily or give them the wrong idea about their real feelings and cause heartache or heartbreak, neither will they come on too strong and make you want to run for your dear life.
They are interested in what you have to say and ask you lots of questions. They laugh at your jokes, even the lame ones. They initiate physical contact. They try to find space where you can talk more privately (this does not always mean sex, but it often means they wish for more quality time with you).
Sometimes, flirting that seems innocent at first can become a "slippery slope" and eventually turn into cheating, says Susan Krauss Whitbourne, PhD, a professor of psychology at the University of Massachusetts Amherst. Still, she doesn't consider flirting a form of cheating "as long as it remains at that level."
Sincere. This is the most common flirting style, and that's probably for the best. Sincere flirts are direct and honest in their interest, and they aim to build emotional connections from the beginning. They'll strike up a conversation about the book you're reading.
"Put practically, if someone is doing something to engage you that feels extra (lots of touching, looking at you in a way that feels a bit to long, or doing a lot of poking fun and complimenting you), then that might be flirting or it might not. That's the whole point.
Healthy flirting is fun, frivolous, entertaining and makes everyone laugh and feel good. It makes people feel focussed on, important, attractive and in general it has a strong positive and playful vibe to it.
Teasing is one of the biggest ways that a man can flirt with you. If he makes fun of you lightly for your clothes, for how you walk, how you laugh, or for any of the other things about you that he actually just thinks are really adorable, then he's definitely flirting with you.
Flirting in your head could inadvertently turn to flirting for real if the other person picks up on the cues you believed to be ever-so-subtle.
Subtle flirting involves using discreet, understated gestures or verbal cues to signal interest and attraction without being overt or aggressive. Subtle flirting can help create intrigue and maintain a sense of mystery during the early stages of a flirtatious interaction.
The hallmarks of flirting are surprisingly universal. Women often smile, arch their eyebrows and widen their eyes, tuck their chin down and turn slightly to the side, toss their hair, put their hands near their mouth, and laugh. Men, for their part, often arch their back, stretch their chest, and laugh as well.
Notice if he becomes nervous or suddenly quiet around you.
One way to tell if a flirt really likes you is if he doesn't flirt with you. If he's a natural flirt, he's probably not putting too much thought into his actions when he's friendly with other people--that's just how he is.
Physical flirting involves using touch or body language to express attraction and create a sense of intimacy. Examples include playful touches, hugs, or leaning in closer during conversations. This form of flirting can be very effective when used appropriately and with respect for boundaries.
Flirting generates positivity and is great for well-being. It allows a person to show interest through small gestures and enables the other to decide if they want to reciprocate. Flirting can be a sign of friendship or entertainment. It can be a way to bond and the first step in getting to know someone.
A good flirt cares for others —by listening to and showing interest in them—while simultaneously not taking their partner too seriously yet always appearing confident. In other words, successful flirting requires high emotional intelligence.