They love surrendering to the connection between two people when all the distance falls away and they each express themselves openly and without censorship. And they love sharing their endless warmth and sensitivity with their soulmate. As has often been observed, there's no one more loving than an INFJ in love.
INFJs are a fierce personality type defined by their idealism, achievement, perfectionism, and sensitivity. These introverts are hopeless romantics who tend to fall in love easily, but they also struggle to make the first move, flirt and show love once they're in a relationship.
INFJs' Two Favorite Love Languages
There are five different love languages: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, or Physical Touch. From what I've seen online and the INFJs I've talked with, Quality Time and Words of Affirmation are the two most popular love languages for INFJs.
INFJs tend to be completely committed to their partner. They are likely to put the other person first and consistently work toward growth in their relationships. They are positive, driven partners who are open to other points of view and able to remain empathetic most of the time.
INFJs are the most extroverted of the introverts, but we tend to lack confidence. INFJs tend to flirt with prolonged, intense eye contact. We'll occasionally say hi or wave, but nothing else. If we end up getting closer, we'll open up little by little.
Kindness. As sensitive personalities, INFJs feel attracted to people who show kindness towards others. Extraverted Feeling is their auxiliary function, which means INFJs try to connect in a gentle way, and appreciate those who can do the same. Most INFJs also strive to make a positive impact on the world.
Mainly, because they can be too nice for their own good. As empathetic personalities, INFJs can feel deeply what someone else is feeling and have a tendency to try to “fix” others. When you put others first all the time, you're bound to come across people who want to take advantage of your generosity.
INFJs are sensitive souls who are easily overwhelmed, but they have their limits. If they feel stressed by their environment, or the people in it, they'll tend to cry or become very quiet and want to be alone. Some INFJs will be cold, sarcastic and very blunt or speak to someone only on a very superficial level.
INFJs may undervalue their own needs, ideas, and contributions, acting overly shy and not taking credit when due. At their worst, INFJs can be excessively submissive, ineffectual, and too dependent on direction from others.
Although two well-developed individuals of any type can enjoy a healthy relationship, INFJ's natural partner is the ENTP, or the ENFP. INFJ's dominant function of Introverted Intuition is best matched with a personality type that is dominated by Extraverted Intuition.
ENFP. If you have an ENFP as a friend, you'll know how fun and inclusive these types can be. ENFPs may be an INFJ's best match due to the similarities and complementary traits these types share.
INFJs often lock out their emotions when they're upset. These often try to process their thoughts before reacting, which is why they might keep quiet or shut people out when aggrieved. The last thing they'd want to do is to react without consideration.
INFJs will not reveal their feelings to someone they love or admire until they are absolutely sure that the person feels the same way. I personally have a self imposed wall around my heart and who I let in because I want the woman I love and marry to know and understand a side of me that no one else knows.
Because INFJs are so naturally aware of harmony levels and emotional needs, they are irritated by people who seem tactless, rude, mean-spirited, troll-ish, or unnecessarily disruptive. In situations where someone is corrupting the emotional atmosphere for their own selfish gains, an INFJ can become severely angered.
They crave deep mental and emotional connections with others; proximity or just a few shared interests won't cut it. This is especially true when it comes to love and dating. As a result, INFJs can really struggle to find Mr. or Mrs. Right.
Because of our passionate need for meaningful connection, we INFJs can get jealous easily when we see other people connecting and having fun. We might compare ourselves to them, or worse yet, when someone close to us has friends of their own, we might pull away, feeling unwanted and pathetic.
However, time and time again, INFJs have told me that they get uncomfortably awkward around their crushes. They giggle more, trip over things more, and make self-deprecating jokes to try to ease the tension.
INFJs are soul-filled lovers.
For INFJs, sex is an expression of love rather than lust, and they will rarely engage in it casually. They view sex as a communion of the souls, adding to the bond between them and their mate. INFJs are passionate partners, and see sexual intimacy as a way to make their partners happy.
Yes, the INFJ could be withdrawing from you because they realize they aren't really interested in you in that way. They may want to remain friends, but they're afraid to say those words out loud, in case they lose a relationship with you completely.
A heartbroken INFJ might think they should never have trusted this person in the first place and eat themselves up with guilt. They might get angry and defensive, scared of ever letting another person in. It's okay to feel those things, but it's not healthy to stay there long-term.
INFJ: Finds a Creative Outlet
If you're an INFJ, you suppress your anger. “The Counselor” type will avoid addressing their feelings of frustration because they hate conflict, and the idea of confronting someone might break them out in hives.
The best matches for an INFJ are the ENFP and the ENTP personality types. Both the ENFP and the ENTP types openly give support to those around them and to those who need affirmation. The extraverted features of the ENFP and the ENTP balance the introverted nature of the INFJ and bring out the best in INFJs.