Signs of emotional cheating You confide in the other person about the intimate details of your relationship troubles. You've become more detached and emotionally disconnected from your partner. You think about the other person all the time. You are less intimate with your partner.
Broadly, emotional infidelity describes a situation in which an individual in a relationship develops an important emotional connection with someone other than their partner, in a way that crosses a line without necessarily becoming physical.
An emotional affair usually starts out as a simple friendship, but this can quickly snowball into an unhealthy dynamic. Someone feels initially drawn to a “friend,” devotes more time to them, and eventually becomes more dependent on them.
“Our emotional bond is the first step leading to a physical relation, in most cases. So for a lot of people, emotional cheating hurts just as much because it's so close to turning into something more,” says psychologist Madhavi Gangopadhyay.
If your partner continues to see the person with whom they cheated, it can be really hard to heal and move forward together. This can be a sign that they don't consider your feelings and the impact the affair had on you. If that is the case, it's a good reason to walk away and know your worth.
In short, an inappropriate emotional connection or attachment can be just as dangerous to a relationship as a physical affair. Emotional affairs can often be gateway affairs to other types of infidelity and are just as likely to lead to divorce or a breakup as physical affairs.
You may start to feel more aligned with the person you're now sharing thoughts, feelings, dreams, and vulnerabilities with. Emotional infidelity can be painful for both parties— a longing for connection, validation, and a breakdown of trust can prove challenging to overcome.
You share things with the other person that you haven't shared with your partner. You confide in the other person about the intimate details of your relationship troubles. You've become more detached and emotionally disconnected from your partner. You think about the other person all the time.
Many couples recover from emotional infidelity. It is possible. The process of recovery takes time, so be patient with the process, with your partner, and with yourself. Ultimately, you can rebuild a relationship even better than it was before!
The final stage of grief from a cheating spouse is acceptance. This will only happen once you fully acknowledge that your partner has betrayed you by having an affair. Acceptance can happen whether or not you have forgiven your spouse. In addition, you do not have to feel okay either.
Things that can trigger flashbacks include spending time with your partner who cheated, romantic sounds, love stories, not hearing from your partner and sometimes they can just come out of the blue when you least expect it. Being betrayed by a loved one can often be traumatic.
Grief, brain changes, behaviors down the road, and mental health conditions such as anxiety, chronic stress, and depression can result. Some families have been able to move past infidelity with time and therapy. To move on, this takes active work on both partners to work on the root cause of the infidelity.
Emotional flooding after infidelity is a common reaction but is more severe when trauma is involved. Who wouldn't be flooded with powerful emotions when your spouse or partner cheats on you? That's why it is normal to have emotional flooding when your past traumas trigger you.
It takes around 2 to 5 years for the pain of infidelity to fade. Recovering from infidelity and strengthening your marriage takes patience and dedication from both of you. You must work together as partners.
Brain Changes
Dopamine is linked to feelings of gratification and pleasure, and can be very addicting. When a person experiences infidelity and feelings of rejection, their brain chemistry may be altered–they may even have symptoms similar to that of withdrawal.
Women in their 60s report the highest rate of infidelity (16%), but the share goes down sharply among women in their 70s and 80s. By comparison, the infidelity rate among men in their 70s is the highest (26%), and it remains high among men ages 80 and older (24%).
How Many Couples Stay Together After an Affair? In one study, researchers found that with instances of secret infidelity, only about 20% of couples were still married after 5 years. However, for couples who revealed infidelity, that percentage jumped to 57%.
According to an article in The Signal, both physical and emotional cheating, or infidelity, are often at the root of divorce cases. The American Psychological Association (APA) reports that anywhere from 20% to 40% of divorces are linked to infidelity, and men tend to cheat more often than women do.
More often than not, emotional cheating is a way that one partner is trying to get a deeper need met—or to protect themselves from a feared scenario.