Emotional loneliness is the absence of a significant other with whom a close attachment or meaningful relationship existed (a partner or close friend). Social loneliness is the lack of a wider social network of friends, neighbours or colleagues.
Loneliness is a feeling of sadness or distress because of a mismatch between the amount of social connection a person wants and the amount they have. It is also possible to feel lonely even when surrounded by people. One can experience loneliness at work, with friends or in a relationship.
What causes loneliness? There is not one single cause of loneliness. Loneliness can often be a result of life changes or circumstances that include living alone, changing your living arrangements, having financial problems, or death of a loved one.
Feeling lonely can also have a negative impact on your mental health, especially if these feelings have lasted a long time. Some research suggests that loneliness is associated with an increased risk of certain mental health problems, including depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, sleep problems and increased stress.
When someone feels lonely they are more likely to try to distract themselves with the other things in their lives. So if your colleague is always talking about their stamp collection, or always flying away on exotic solo city breaks rather than spending weekends at home, they might be feeling alone.
Loneliness is toxic
Loneliness has clear consequences for mental health, aggravating anxiety, depression, and stress-related symptoms. Additionally, it sabotages our physical health. According to two leading researchers, loneliness triggers an inflammatory response and threatens our immune system.
Signs of adult relational trauma and loneliness may include: Difficulty being alone—the constant need for stimulation or something to distract themselves. Difficulty understandings themselves or their emotional needs. Deep feelings of emptiness that may show up as "boredom." Feeling worthless, or fatally flawed.
Your nervous system goes into fight-or-flight mode, making it harder to sleep. When you're lonely, research shows that your brain can produce an excess of norepinephrine, a hormone that's a crucial “signal during the fight or flight response.” Loneliness can feel, to our social selves, like dire straits.
Loneliness affects people in different ways, and for this reason there are four distinct types of loneliness identified by psychologists: emotional, social, situational and chronic.
"Loneliness can change the neurochemistry of the brain, turning off the dopamine neurons, which trigger the reward response, and causing some degeneration in the brain when the reward response is not activated," says Katherine Peters, MD, PhD, FAAN, associate professor of neurology and neurosurgery at Duke University.
Two basic types of loneliness are social and emotional loneliness (Weiss, 1973). Social loneliness originates from the absence of a broader group of contacts or an engaging social network. Emotional loneliness originates from the absence of an intimate figure or a close emotional attachment.
When people are emotionally isolated, they keep their feelings completely to themselves, are unable to receive emotional support from others, feel "shut down" or numb, and are reluctant or unwilling to communicate with others, except perhaps for the most superficial matters.
If you find yourself spending more and more time alone because you believe others don't understand you or that you will struggle to connect, you may be experiencing one of the more subtle symptoms of trauma.
These feelings of loneliness may ultimately lead to posttraumatic stress symptoms via a number of pathways. For example, loneliness may lead to the development of negative cognitions (Cacioppo and Hawkley, 2009), which can predict future PTSD symptoms and impact PTSD treatment (Brown et al., 2019).
Most notably, researchers found that loneliness rates peak among people in their 20s, and reach their lowest point among those in their 60s. Many people also experience a spike in lonely feelings around their mid-40s. These findings are as confounding as they are surprising, at least initially.
People who spend more time alone and feel lonely regularly have an increased risk of heart disease and stroke, according to Heart. The analysis of 181,000 adults discovered that loneliness, social isolation or both were linked to a 29 percent higher risk of heart attack and a 32 percent greater risk of stroke.
A report from the National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine (NASEM) points out that more than one-third of adults aged 45 and older feel lonely, and nearly one-fourth of adults aged 65 and older are considered to be socially isolated.
Research has linked social isolation and loneliness to higher risks for a variety of physical and mental conditions: high blood pressure, heart disease, obesity, a weakened immune system, anxiety, depression, cognitive decline, Alzheimer's disease, and even death.
Three profiles of people at particular risk from loneliness were identified: Widowed older homeowners living alone with long-term health conditions. Unmarried, middle-agers with long-term health conditions. Younger renters with little trust and sense of belonging to their area.