Deepest Fear: Nines fear being too needy and thus pushing people away. They cope with this fear by submitting to the desires and agendas of the people around them: being agreeable in order to be included.
The basic fear of the Type 9 is that they may lose or be separated from others. They may attempt to prevent this by remaining peaceful and avoiding conflict, potentially adapting to others preferences, rather than stating their own.
Type Nine in Brief
They want everything to go smoothly and be without conflict, but they can also tend to be complacent, simplifying problems and minimizing anything upsetting. They typically have problems with inertia and stubbornness.
In Stress: Nines take on qualities of Sixes, becoming overcommitted, worried, rigid, and anxious. They may doubt themselves which makes decision-making even harder, and can become uncharacteristically reactive.
Nines want to avoid being controversial. Despite disliking it when people pressurise them into something, they also have difficulty saying no to people. While Nines will go out of their way to accommodate others and downplay their own needs, setting themselves up to be overlooked, Nines dislike being ignored.
In general, 8s, 9s, and 1s — the body type — tend to get angry when they see injustice, and when they feel like people are trying to control them, but this is expressed in different ways.
Type Fives don't pair as well with Nines
Both types tend to go into their imaginary worlds to stay safe, making it difficult for them to connect.
The Enneagram Nine Child – The Rejection of Their Voice
In a family where there was frequent conflict or turmoil, they learned to “tune out” the problems and try to numb themselves to the conflict inside.
Sixes are one of the most anxiety-prone types of the Enneagram and tend to overreact when under stress. Identifying what triggers an overreaction as well as finding space to process their thoughts in the aftermath of a crisis is crucial for their mental health and general well-being.
Enneagram 9s in Grief and Loss
Since 9s are in the gut/body triad, anger is more likely to flare up especially if there is any sense of not being heard or conflict involved. They may easily dip into the negative type 9 traits such as being indecisive, passive aggressive, and forgetful.
As part of the Body/Instinctive triad in the Enneagram, Type 9s have a sensitive issue around anger. They subconsciously deny and under-express it, and it often comes as a surprise to Type 9s that they have unprocessed anger. They often don't recognize this.
The emotional drive of type 9 is called sloth which refers to a sense of inertia or laziness particularly with regard to yourself and your priorities or agenda.
First, it can be hard for them to get a partner. Type 9s tend to be wallflowers, and potential romantic prospects may be drawn to flashier, more gregarious types initially. However, once people get to know Type 9s, they're attracted to their calm, caring personalities.
Type 9, Peacemaker
Numb, drained, disconnected and checked out of life, they take on a zombie-like appearance, barely showing up as a functioning human being. They may fall into a depression. The dark side of Type 9s are usually sins of omission or apathy.
However, when complacent Nines are under stress (also known as their “direction of disintegration”), they act more like an anxious and worried Enneagram type Six. This is a Nine no longer self-possessed, but fraught with anxiety and insecurity.
Nines can have the tendency of living in their own world to avoid the problems and pain of reality, which can cause them to be disengaged, unreflective, and inattentive. Unhealthy Nines can become indifferent by minimizing problems affecting themselves and others.
Type 9 Under Stress
Nines cope with stress by talking with friends, spending time alone, and crying.
Enneagram Type 9s might be the hardest to type in the Enneagram personality type system, but they're valuable personalities who sacrifice their own needs to help others feel comfortable.
Type Five: They are socially awkward
Contrary to this common misconception, Fives' constant introspection makes them funny and interesting to talk to. When around their friends, they open up and can even be the liveliest ones there. Fives isolate themselves because they recharge with alone time.
Highly agreeable people, like most Type 9s, are highly sensitive to interpersonal issues, and will try to minimize any negative impact their actions may have on other people.
Type 9: The Peaceful Mediator is thoughtful, reassuring, receptive, accommodating, resigned. Core Fear: Being in conflict, tension, or discord; feeling shut out and overlooked; losing connection with others. Core Desire: Having inner stability and peace of mind.
What about the Enneagram Type 9? Type 9 is the second most common Enneatype, two percent less common than Type 8. “The Peacemaker” is also a Body Type, like Type 8, but their need to control the environment is more focused on the people around them than on justice.
Enneagram Nine Friendship Needs
Easy-going and accepting, Nines are peace-loving friends who give others the space to be themselves without judgment. At the same time, it's vital for Nines to have friends who see them for who they are rather than using them for their gentleness and compassion.
Type Nines commonly pair well with Ones, Twos.
Reassuring and harmonious, Nines are supportive to a fault, their conflict-averse nature may cause them to minimize and simplify problems.
Which Enneagram Styles Are Narcissistic? Relying on Theodore Millon's description of the narcissistic personality, Claudio Naranjo (1994) refers to Enneastyle Seven as the narcissist.