Gaslighting by a family member is a confusing form of emotional abuse where one person uses manipulation to gain control over another by distorting their own sense of reality. Fortunately, there are ways to recognize gaslighting in your family and take valuable steps towards healing.
There are four primary types of gaslighting behaviors: the straight-up lie, reality manipulation, scapegoating and coercion.
If a parent repeatedly denies or disputes your experiences or your feelings about them, makes you doubt or feel bad about yourself, or tries to relinquish responsibility for something he or she did by blaming you—those are all signs of gaslighting.
5) Gaslighting
Gaslighting is an insidious weapon in the toolbox of a narcissistic parent. It allows the toxic parent to distort reality, deny the reality of the abuse, and make you feel like the toxic one for calling them out.
If people make statements in the context of an argument in which they are trying to explain their point of view, or if these statements are made over the course of legal proceedings or formal hearings, then they may be viewed as someone defending themselves, not intentionally attempting to gaslight.
Some well-meaning parents may gaslight their children in an attempt to protect them. For example, “You will love these vegetables as they are so yummy.” However, many more do so to maintain control, power, and a sense of rightness in the parent-child relationships.
A gaslighting parent exhibits a pattern of disputing or denying a child's opinions and feelings. Parental gaslighting is an emotionally abusive way of communicating. Gaslighting parents are those who undermine their child's sense of reality and emotional stability.
Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which the abuser attempts to sow self-doubt and confusion in their victim's mind. Typically, gaslighters are seeking to gain power and control over the other person, by distorting reality and forcing them to question their own judgment and intuition.
Highly sensitive people and empaths are more susceptible to gaslighting because they do not trust themselves and their intuitions. They doubt their own perspective even when they sense that something is wrong.
You may be more vulnerable to gaslighting if you suffer from any mental health issues that weaken your resistance, such as a history of abuse or trauma, low self-esteem or depression, for example.
Though some people may not realize the damage their behavior is causing, if they aren't willing to hear your requests for change and attempt to make these changes, end the relationship before it goes any further. Remember that gaslighters have fragile egos, little self-esteem, and are inherently weak.
Don't even look their way. Just stare straight ahead in silence. If they continue their behavior, just walk away. This is one of the most frustrating situations for a gaslighter because it makes them feel powerless.
The gaslighter enjoys emotionally, physically, and financially controlling their victims. The relationship may start well the manipulative person may praise his or her victim and establishes trust quickly by confiding in their victim immediately.
Red Flag 1: You're doubting your own truth. Red Flag 2: You're questioning yourself excessively. Red Flag 3: You're feeling confused. Red Flag 4: You're frequently thinking you must be perceiving things incorrectly.
Gaslighting happens when an abuser tries to control a victim by twisting their sense of reality. An example of gaslighting would be a partner doing something abusive and then denying it happened.
Some gaslighters are aware of their behavior, and they may even work to improve their gaslighting skills. They might enjoy the sense of superiority they feel from making others doubt their sanity and correctness. Others who gaslight might not be aware that they're doing it.
“You are overreacting.” “No one will ever love you with that attitude.” “You have an awful personality and can never do anything right.” “Everyone agrees that you're probably the worst person to go out with.”
A narcissistic mother may feel entitled or self-important, seek admiration from others, believe she is above others, lack empathy, exploit her children, put others down, experience hypersensitivity to criticism, believe she deserves special treatment, and worst of all, maybe naïve to the damage she is causing.
Narcissists also gaslight or practice master manipulation, weakening and destabilizing their victims; finally, they utilize positive and negative emotions or moments to trick others. When a narcissist can't control you, they'll likely feel threatened, react with anger, and they might even start threatening you.