Intimacy disorder, or the fear of intimacy in men, results in a person avoiding any sort of closeness or intimacy in relationships. This disorder not only leaves a negative impact on the person affected by it, but also on the other person in the relationship who might feel confused, frustrated, and hurt.
Some might avoid maintaining relationships, pull back from conflicts, or hold back from being emotionally close to the other person. Others may react intensely to situations, such as being controlling or overly critical, using guilt on their partner to express hurt, or being clingy.
Signs of fear of intimacy may include: avoiding physical/sexual contact or having an insatiable sexual appetite, difficulty with commitment, history of unstable relationships, low self-esteem, bouts of anger, isolation, difficulty forming close relationships, difficulty sharing feelings, difficulty showing emotion, and ...
Haphephobia is the fear of being touched. For some people, the fear is specific to being touched by people of one gender. For others, the fear extends to all people. People with haphephobia often experience physical symptoms of intense distress when they are touched.
Men may also experience difficulties achieving intimacy because of a lack of 'emotional vocabulary'. Men often feel less able to express the way they are feeling than women, and may feel uncomfortable with discussions about emotions. However, it is important to remember it is a skill, and as such can be learned.
A fear of intimacy can be caused by past experiences of trauma, abandonment, or being punished or shamed for showing vulnerability, whether in childhood or in past relationships.
“The fear of intimacy can be caused by different reasons including abuse or neglect, medical problems, fear of abandonment, or religious beliefs. Sometimes, it can even be a combination of issues and securing the help of a professional is necessary.”
Because fear of intimacy is usually rooted in the past, it can take some time to unravel – working with a therapist is going to get you there much faster. In therapy, you'll get to explore these fears and identify where they stem from, and work towards creating the necessary steps towards change.
Men Crave Emotional Intimacy
Such vulnerability includes expressing concern, showing pain, divulging fears, etc. But some men do crave emotional support from their partners. They want to feel comfortable enough with their partner to share their secrets, their fears, and how they really feel if they are wired this way.
Physical needs
While women definitely have physical needs, men tend to have higher physical needs than most women. The reason for this is that men are genetically different than women. Men truly crave sexual intimacy.
Maintaining close physical contact
If a man wants to show that he loves you, he will always want to stay close to you. However, when it comes to how do guys express their feelings, you will notice that they maintain physical proximity with you. He might hold your hand, hug you or wrap his arm around you.
Other reasons why one partner may begin to avoid being touched by the other – If they are not experiencing much pleasure from coupled sex, they worry that it will lead to a fight, or if they have body image or self-confidence issues.
The fear of falling in love has many potential causes, including: Past experiences. Traumatic past relationships may contribute to the development of the fear of falling in love. Infidelity, betrayal, or heartbreak can cause you to stay away from romantic relationships.
Stressors outside the bedroom such as work stress, money concerns, fatigue, and depression can affect a man's sexual interests. Other side effects associated with stress such as weight gain, lack of exercise, and poor diet can also contribute to a lack of sexual desire.
If intimacy is lacking, sometimes due to the fear of intimacy, you may at times feel disconnected or distant from your partner. You may feel like your partner is keeping secrets from you and there is an invisible barrier or wall between you and your partner.
In many cases, your partner may be dealing with their own stressors that have nothing to do with you or the relationship. If you've noticed your partner seems stressed, ask how you can help or support them. They may need some time to work through their stressors before they can feel like their best sexual self again.
His behavior may seem a little detached, disinterested, reticent, or withdrawn. Well, some men could be afraid of heartbreak, embarrassment, or rejection. Though he likes you, his fears may not let him come close to you. Therefore, he may find reasons to avoid a relationship.
Although the average appears to be a few times a week, there is no one “right amount” of sex that men need. Instead, the one constant is his emotional need to feel that you desire him. Find ways to show that, and you'll probably see more love coming from him to you, too!
They could be handling a difficult life change or transition. There could be many reasons why your partner is not showing you the affection you desire, and according to therapist, dating and relationship coach and former matchmaker Lauren Korshak, one major reason could be that they are suffering from a crisis.
Just like women, men need love, warmth, closeness, validation, and acceptance. Men are also more physical (due to a higher level of testosterone), and they express these needs for emotional closeness by doing things side by side with their wives.
Haphephobia may be caused by experiencing or witnessing a traumatic event that involved being touched. A person may not remember the event that triggered the phobia, especially if they were very young at the time. Phobias can also run in the family.
Low Self-Esteem. If you generally lack self-confidence and don't feel good about yourself, physical contact may be even more uncomfortable for you. This is because being touched by someone else can make you feel exposed and vulnerable in a way that magnifies any negative feelings you have about yourself.
“People who have higher levels of social anxiety, in general, may be hesitant to engage in affectionate touches with others, including friends.” And the fear of someone 'reaching out'—literally and figuratively—can make that discomfort even worse, she warns. There's also a cultural component to being hug avoidant.