Golden Child Syndrome refers to a strict requirement of becoming perfect by parents. Children tend to have an overwhelming need to please. For example, expecting a child to score straight As, do every house chore perfectly, behave perfectly, or follow strict life rules.
golden child (plural golden children) One who is favored or the favorite (in a family, on a team, at work, etc.), often held in high esteem by others, and for whom there are high hopes.
Poor Boundaries
A golden child's sense of self and their personal boundaries are erased, as their own sense of identity is replaced with the need to live up to their role. Their behaviors and beliefs reflect what their parent expects of them, and they may feel incapable of individuation even in adulthood.
Of all the roles children play in the narcissistic family, the favored "golden" child is most likely to develop a narcissistic personality because of the toxic mix of enmeshment, neglect, and entitlement they experience.
Essentially, this means that the golden child is expected to be good at everything (even if those things don't come naturally to them), never make mistakes, and is always obliged to meet their parent's desires, even if they don't agree with them.
Expectedly, the scapegoat oftentimes feels very jealous of the golden child. And the golden child is usually so enmeshed with their parent that they can't see anything wrong with the parent-child relationship they're in. They'll jump in to defend their parent and might even think they have the best parent in the world.
The penalty for failure is criticism and disappointment from parents and other caregivers. And very often, the Golden Child interprets this as a withdrawal of love. Love therefore becomes conditional. The agreement is this: The child succeeds, and the parents in return bestow their love.
The golden child may start acting up once the scapegoat goes no-contact. They may resent their sibling has “broken free” from the cycle of abuse. Golden children are under immense pressure to remain perfect- the scapegoat's absence only reinforces this pressure.
Choi Bo Min is a South Korean singer and up-and-coming actor born on August 24, 2000. He is the youngest member of 10-member K-pop boyband Golden Child.
The Golden Child is, over time, destined for a moment of breakdown when the hopes invested in it fail to be realised. The Golden Future will, it starts to be clear, never materialise, but a bigger prize awaits: a feeling of liberation from expectations that were always disconnected from reality.
“Parents may favor one child over another, for a lot of reasons. The child may have an easy temperament or might behave particularly well. They may look like you, or remind you of a favorite relative,” says Susan Newman, Ph.
Family Scapegoating Abuse occurs when your primary caregivers or other important 'power holders' in the family (grandparents, dominant siblings or extended family members) single you out as being 'defective' and repeatedly give you the message that you are 'bad', 'different', or 'not good enough'.
Scapegoating is the ultimate abuse of power and a dehumanizing experience, as targets are considered to have few or no human rights by family members who mistreat them. When understood from this perspective, 'No Contact' is an essential psychological survival strategy.
Despite what most scapegoats will tell you, golden children are usually the more severely traumatised in narcissistic families. But the trauma is all on the inside.
Many describe their childhood as one of being a “verbal punching bag” for their brother or sister, cruelty which often remains hidden to parents as the narcissistic child endeavours to maintain the appearance of perfection to authority figures.
A narcissistic parent will often abuse the normal parental role of guiding their children and being the primary decision maker in the child's life, becoming overly possessive and controlling. This possessiveness and excessive control disempowers the child; the parent sees the child simply as an extension of themselves.
Parental favoritism is when one or both parents display consistent favoritism toward one child over another. It can include more time spent together, less discipline, and more privileges. As a parent, we usually try to remain neutral and treat all of our children equally. But that task is a lot harder than it sounds.
Scapegoating is a common form of parental verbal abuse. Research shows that scapegoating allows a parent to think of the family as healthier than it is. Scapegoating lets a parent minimize responsibility for and explain negative outcomes, enhancing a sense of control.
Like the strong goat Aaron selected, the target of family scapegoating is also often the strongest and healthiest member of the family. At first blush, this may sound counterintuitive. But think about it a little more.