INFJs are hardworking perfectionists—and their biggest fear is failure. An INFJs fear of failure can transform into a fear of a failed relationship and subsequent abandonment, a fear of not achieving a goal, or deep-seated fear of not being “good enough.” If those things terrify you, you might be an INFJ.
INFJs' sensitivity means they have a deep appreciation for beauty and the arts. They can be moved to tears by music, art, theatre, books, films, food or flowers.
INFJs' only true enemy is themselves, or more specifically, their inner critic. However, some personality types may be difficult for INFJs to get along with including: ESTJs: They are often seen as being too blunt, dominant, and insensitive for INFJs.
People are high-fiving, cheering, and otherwise overdoing it emotionally. As an INFJ you tend to feel out-of-your-element in these situations. You might attempt to cheer only to be taken aback by the awkward tension and self-consciousness in your voice.
INFJs also feel embarrassed when they cry in front of others or react emotionally to criticism. They also experience “second-hand embarrassment”. This occurs when they empathize too strongly with someone who has done something awkward or is embarrassing themselves.
INFJs are no exception to this rule, and when they become overly stressed they may display a dark side that includes angry outbursts, obsessive worrying, perfectionism, or even depression. When INFJs first encounter stress, they start to behave very true-to-type.
Advocate (INFJ) Weaknesses. Sensitive to Criticism – Advocates aren't averse to feedback – that is, unless they believe that someone is challenging their most cherished principles or values. When it comes to the issues that are near and dear to them, people with this personality type can become defensive or dismissive.
In the world of personality theory, the INTP and INFJ pairing has been nicknamed “The Golden Pair” because these two types can be highly compatible.
Here are some of the things that make INFJs the angriest:
Violation of one of their core values. Bullying or name-calling. Rudeness. Having their ideas and insights dismissed or ignored.
Because of our passionate need for meaningful connection, we INFJs can get jealous easily when we see other people connecting and having fun. We might compare ourselves to them, or worse yet, when someone close to us has friends of their own, we might pull away, feeling unwanted and pathetic.
If you're an INFJ, you suppress your anger. “The Counselor” type will avoid addressing their feelings of frustration because they hate conflict, and the idea of confronting someone might break them out in hives.
INFJs are most likely to marry someone who shares their values and vision for the future, regardless of their personality type. INFJs are more likely to marry someone who values emotional depth and intimacy and is dedicated to personal growth and development.
INFP is the type most commonly mistaken for INFJ, and they use Ne as their co-pilot process. If Signs 1 and 5 are both sound true for you there's a very good chance you're an INFP.
Their introverted nature allows them to be excellent listeners. Careers for INFJs in counseling, therapy, or psychology are good choices to consider because of this natural trait. They tend towards introversion, so career paths involving writing and research can suit this personality type particularly well.
INFJs are capable of mechanical memorization, but the amount retained this way is less than from memory based on understanding. INFJs are capable of accurately reproducing received information, especially if they associate it with any feelings.
In my experience as an MBTI® practitioner, one of the most common struggles I hear from INFJs is the struggle of being misunderstood. INFJs feel misunderstood in their external environment and even by themselves.
INFJs are, in many ways, an emotional sponge. Wired to think about feelings, relationships, and what's best for people, we tend to absorb the emotions of others even in the best of times. Unsurprisingly, that can leave us pretty exhausted — and that's true even if the feelings we're picking up are mostly positive ones.
Kindness. As sensitive personalities, INFJs feel attracted to people who show kindness towards others.
In conclusion, the INFJ personality type has a dark side that is often overlooked. INFJs can be emotionally overwhelmed, stubborn, defensive, and honest to the point of being blunt or rude. They may struggle with stress, conflict, high expectations, and accepting change.
Compassionate: With their strong sense of intuition and emotional understanding, INFJs can be soft-spoken and empathetic. This does not mean that they are pushovers, however. INFJs have deeply held beliefs and the ability to act decisively to get what they want.
They tend to be gracious and friendly to people, and if they are confident, they may even have a gift for flirting and making eye contact. However, time and time again, INFJs have told me that they get uncomfortably awkward around their crushes.
INFJs may seem shy at first, but they usually have a lot going on beneath the surface. They tend to follow their hunches to determine what to do next. However, they'll usually share their vision for the future only with the people they're closest to.
The best matches for INFJs include intuitive types such as INTJ, INFP, and ENFJ. INFJs are the least compatible with sensors, especially ESTJs, ESTPs, and ESFPs. INFJ-INFJ relationships can be emotionally fulfilling yet difficult if both INFJs aren't willing to openly discuss relationship problems.
INFJs preferring Quality Time and/or Words of Affirmation is also supported by a survey conducted by Heidi Priebe. According to Priebe's survey, 35.67% of INFJs list “Quality Time” as their preferred love language.