Trauma bonds (also referred to as traumatic bonds) is a term developed by Patrick Carnes to describe emotional bonds with an individual (and sometimes with a group) that arise from a recurring, cyclical pattern of abuse perpetuated by intermittent reinforcement through rewards and punishments.
A traumatic bond, or a "trauma bond," is an attachment formed between two people who unconsciously bond to each other based on shared trauma, which ultimately leads to relational betrayal and heartbreak.
Trauma bonding is a type of attachment that can form between two people who have gone through a traumatic experience together. Or, more likely, you may share a compatible attachment pattern that stems from childhood emotional trauma. This bond is characterized by feelings of dependency, neediness, and fear.
Trauma bonding occurs when a narcissist repeats a cycle of abuse with another person which fuels a need for validation and love from the person being abused. Trauma bonding often happens in romantic relationships, however, it can also occur between colleagues, non-romantic family members, and friends.
Shared trauma, also referred to as shared traumatic reality, is defined as the affective, behavioral, cognitive, spiritual, and multi-modal responses that clinicians experience as a result of dual exposure to the same collective trauma as their clients.
Shared trauma where people who are traumatised in similar ways by an event they go through, may often bond through it, even get enmeshed with each other romantically, sexually and otherwise. Being able to support each other feels wonderful, and can seem very much like love.
In Stacking Traumas three tables positioned on top of one another are formed by elongated lines that double as musical notes. The horizontal lines of each table reference beams used in musical notation. Beams connect the stems of consecutive notes to form a rhythmic grouping, making sheet music easier to read.
Breaking a trauma bond starts with identifying the 7 stages of trauma bonding, which encompasses gaslighting, love bombing, emotional addiction, criticism, loss of self, trust and dependency, and resigning to control. It is important to understand how these stages develop in a toxic and abusive relationship.
In order to heal and find trauma resolution, a person must be able and willing to see how their compulsive behavior only aids in forming trauma bonds and therefore they must break the compulsivity. Codependency on the other hand, focuses more on the addiction.
Trauma bonding happens when an abuser uses manipulation tactics and cycles of abuse to make the victim feel dependent on them for care and validation, causing a strong attachment or bond. This often occurs in romantic narcissistic relationships, but can also occur in families, friendships, or work relationships.
“Trauma dumping is the unfiltered sharing of strong emotions or upsetting experiences without permission from the listener.” – Talkspace therapist Dr. Olga Molina, D.S.W., LCSW.
Friendship PTSD can come in the form of feeling dread when the people you considered your day ones were never that all along. Or perhaps the love started out real, and the bond was unbreakable, and over time it just weakened. The fault could have even been on both ends. Either way, friendship PTSD is real.
Signs of trauma bonding
agree with the abusive person's reasons for treating them badly. try to cover for the abusive person. argue with or distance themselves from people trying to help, such as friends, family members, or neighbors.
The term 'trauma bond' is also known as Stockholm Syndrome. It describes a deep bond which forms between a victim and their abuser. Victims of abuse often develop a strong sense of loyalty towards their abuser, despite the fact that the bond is damaging to them.
One way to determine whether you're in a healthy relationship or a trauma bond is to focus on how your relationship consistently makes you feel. A healthy relationship makes you feel supported, secure, and confident, while a trauma bond makes you feel fearful, anxious, or put down.
Breaking a trauma bond after domestic abuse can be done by initiating divorce, gathering resources, working with a trauma-informed therapist, going minimal contact, joining a support group, and working on your self-worth.
It can be hard to break a trauma bond due to the intensity of the attachment, but there are multiple ways to heal and move on from a trauma-bonded relationship. Break yourself free of a trauma bond with the help of a therapist.
A trauma bond is often signified by the victim's keen awareness of everything the perpetrator wants and expects in order to mitigate abuse. Someone in a trauma bond might also show signs of PTSD and suspicion of others who point out the trauma they're experiencing.
These 4 Cs are: Calm, Contain, Care, and Cope 2 Trauma and Trauma-Informed Care Page 10 34 (Table 2.3). These 4Cs emphasize key concepts in trauma-informed care and can serve as touchstones to guide immediate and sustained behavior change.
When we experience any kind of trauma, we can respond to the threat in various ways to cope. We are all familiar with the fight or flight response, but there are actually four main trauma responses, which are categorized as “the four F's of trauma”: fight, flight, freeze and fawn.
The trauma-informed approach is guided four assumptions, known as the “Four R's”: Realization about trauma and how it can affect people and groups, recognizing the signs of trauma, having a system which can respond to trauma, and resisting re-traumatization.
People tend to think trauma bonding is bonding over a shared trauma, including similar experiences or hardships. It is not that. Trauma bonding is the result of abuse, such as emotional or sexual abuse or domestic violence.
Intimacy Can Be Affected by Many Types of Trauma
When trauma affects our sexuality, that's when it's time to think about sexual healing. Aside from sexual abuse, your body may experience any of these events as a trauma, even if you didn't, because of the intensity and pain of the situation.