One study found that 96% of all spouses of adults with ADHD reported that their partner's symptoms make it harder for them to manage their household and raise kids. More than 90% said they had to do more to make up for their spouse's difficulties in these areas.
Stressed: The non-ADHD partner may take over the other person's responsibilities to the point that they have too much on their plate and don't have enough help. This can lead to stress, but also feelings of anger, bitterness, and resentment.
Life is chaotic. And still, adults with ADHD are completely capable of happy, fulfilling marriages. All marriages have their ups and downs, but if one or both spouses have ADHD, the relationship is significantly more challenging.
ADHD Can Affect A Marriage
The urge for novel situations can lead some women into repeated job changes or promiscuity. In a couple where both partners have AD/HD, they may have difficulty deciding who will manage the more mundane aspects of family life.
It's easy to see how the feelings on both sides can contribute to a destructive cycle in the relationship. The non-ADHD partner complains, nags, and becomes increasingly resentful while the ADHD partner, feeling judged and misunderstood, gets defensive and pulls away. In the end, nobody is happy.
ADHD is not the kiss of death. The condition, alone, can't make or break a romantic relationship. But, if symptoms of attention deficit disorder (ADHD or ADD) are not properly acknowledged, treated, and accepted, they can — and often do — create or exacerbate marital tensions.
Equally true (though less recognized) is the fact that partners with ADHD are among the most loyal, generous, engaged, and genuinely fun people you could meet. And after a lifetime of criticism for their ADHD faults, they need for their partners to recognize these good qualities — and vice versa, for that matter.
While all kinds of people can fall in love, the experience of people with ADHD falling in love can be more intense for them. This is because the person with ADHD can hyperfocus on the person they are in love with.
Many people with ADHD have difficulty focusing. A person may quickly lose sight of how frequently he pays attention to his partner and the things that matters to the partner. In turn, this can cause the new partner to feel uncared for or ignored. ADHD impacts a person's ability to focus, or remember commitments.
It's not an exaggeration to say that ADHD worsens and prolongs the pain of a breakup, even leading to depression and low self-esteem. Getting over a breakup is way more difficult for us than it is for most neurotypical people.
Yes, adults and teens with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) can remain in one monogamous relationship while dating or married. While ADHD brings an additional set of challenges into a relationship, the challenges do not need to be considered overwhelming.
Because adults with ADHD constantly crave new experiences, maintaining a long-term relationship can be a struggle, even without the burden of criticism. If resentment builds, an their need for stimulation is likely to create the impulse to find another partner.
Distraction, procrastination, and other ADHD symptoms can stir anger, frustration, and hurt feelings for both the person with ADHD and the partner. But your marriage or relationship can thrive with proper treatment and tactics to ward off misunderstandings.
This can cause a host of problems in your life—financial issues, relationship trouble, and problems holding a job. Some people with ADD/ADHD also have trouble maintaining everyday relationships. They often quickly become bored with their romantic partner.
A lack of self-acceptance. Prohibitively expensive medications. Here, commiserate with fellow ADDitude readers as they share some of their biggest challenges of managing life with ADHD or ADD. > Creating rituals to keep track of things.
Distractibility, Hyperactivity, and Impulsivity
Their impulsive behavior often makes them risk without thinking.
For patients diagnosed with adult ADHD there tends to be a “honeymoon period”, where they are really happy with treatment. They are excited and like 'wow I feel great' / 'this is so much better'.
Advice for men with ADHD
Work with your partner, and perhaps a counselor, to come up with alternative interactions about experiences that cause you pain. These might include verbal cues, scheduling emotional discussions rather than having them on the fly, and improving mindfulness when you are putting yourself down.
The attentional and emotional self-regulation challenges that can exist for partners with ADHD can interfere with experiential intimacy in several ways. First, the partner with ADHD may be distracted within the experience, missing the moment together.
Adults with ADHD are good with people, creative, flexible, and calm in a crisis, all of which can be beneficial in any relationship. Adults with ADHD can be very engaged as they can hyperfocus on areas of interest, Roberts explains. “This can make the start of a relationship a whirlwind.