Borderline love bombing uses demonstrations of affection and emotion to catch and keep someone's interest. While this attention can be flattering at first, love bombing is a manipulative behavior used to control another person.
“First, everything feels good, uplifting, and safe — they might think of you as their favorite person.” At the start of the relationship, your partner with BPD might tend to idealize you and everything you do. They may focus all their attention on you, singing your praises, and demanding your attention.
Identifying Episodes
Intense angry outbursts. Suicidal thoughts and self-harm behavior. Going to great lengths to feel something, then becoming increasingly avoidant and withdrawn. Paranoia, feeling as if there is someone out to get you.
People who live with borderline personality disorder (BPD) have a hard time regulating their emotions, which can be very intense, and handling stress. This can lead them to lash out at the people in their lives.
Physical touch can be interpreted as a sign of intimacy and closeness. For someone with BPD, who struggles with a fear of abandonment, touch might stir up feelings of vulnerability and fear, leading to avoiding physical contact.
A fear of abandonment is central to BPD. That can present obvious problems in a relationship, especially when you're just getting to know someone and have no idea where things are heading. Unfortunately, intense fear can lead to your partner being clingy or making unreasonable demands on your time.
Symptoms of borderline personality disorder can include: Behavioral symptoms: Impulsivity and recklessness, such as impulsive, unsafe sex, reckless driving, substance abuse, spending sprees, and binge-eating. Seductive or flirtatious behavior.
So, what exactly does the BPD break up cycle look like? It can look like fear of abandonment, distrust of a partner, cheating, lack of communication and self-blame. It can look like idolizing a partner, confusing strong emotions for passion, anxiety and overreacting to interactions perceived as negative.
When a person with BPD perceives rejection, they may feel out of control and anxious, which can lead to behaviors like clinging or emotional manipulation. In extreme cases, physical, verbal, or emotional abuse may occur.
BPD makes people more likely to engage in impulsive or risky behaviors, such as: Speeding or other unsafe driving. Unprotected sex or sex with strangers. Binge eating.
Borderline personality disorder is one of the most painful mental illnesses since individuals struggling with this disorder are constantly trying to cope with volatile and overwhelming emotions.
Two other BPD anger triggers include a fear of rejection and quickly changing views. Since an individual with borderline personality disorder views things and people as either extremely good or extremely bad, their opinion of someone can quickly change from a friend to an enemy.
Those who have BPD tend to be very intense, dramatic, and exciting. This means they tend to attract others who are depressed and/or suffering low self-esteem.
But there is another quality displayed by many borderline individuals that is often left out of the diagnostic picture: individuals with borderline personality disorders can also love intensely, although somewhat erratically and egocentrically.
Another hallmark of borderline personality disorder is having a favorite person—usually a family member, romantic partner, or someone in a supportive role, such as a teacher or coach. For someone with this type of BPD relationship, a “favorite person” is someone they rely on for comfort, happiness, and validation.
…these are red flag behaviors of: fear of abandonment, inappropriate or intense anger, impulsivity, patterns of unstable/intense relationships, and emotional dysregulation.
There's also a lot of anecdotal evidence from other people's experiences that suggest 2-4 years is more common. So, if you want to know how long your relationships might last if you have BPD, it really does depend on the intensity of your condition.
BPD splitting episodes do not have a time limit. They can last anywhere from a few hours to a few months. In some cases, the person with BPD may split on a person, situation, or item forever and never back away from their extreme view.
Those with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) can portray themselves as the victim and their partner as the villain who becomes blamed for the problems. Often, the person with BPD will react towards loved ones as if they were the abusers from their past, and take out vengeance and anger towards them.
Romantic fantasization is a common feature of borderline personality disorder (BPD). The unpredictable emotional state associated with borderline personality disorder can cause confusing fluctuations in how borderlines view their romantic partners.
Deep passion. People with BPD strongly desire a deep connection with those around them. This is partly because of their fear of abandonment but because they simply love people and crave deep connections.
In close relationships, a person with BPD may appear jealous, possessive, or hyper-reactive. These individuals often fear being left alone and have deep feelings of worthlessness. In many cases, this disorder is the direct result of childhood trauma, abuse, violence, or neglect.
People with BPD often engage in self-sabotaging behavior. This can include: Oversharing.
People with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) occasionally exhibit strong impulsivity, seduction, and excessive sexuality. For both men and women with BPD, sexual promiscuity, sexual obsessions, and hypersexuality or sexual addiction are common symptoms.