Narcissistic listening is self-centered and self-absorbed listening in which listeners try to make the interaction about them by interrupting, changing the subject, or drawing attention away from others.
Narcissists tend to do lots of talking and very little listening. The narcissist knows best, after all, so why bother listening to what others have to say? Ever spoken with someone who responded dismissively to everything you said? Narcissists brush aside or deprecate what others say instead of truly listening.
Begin any discussion with a compliment, flattery, or praise in order to get the narcissist's attention. To keep their attention, listen endlessly. This might be hard when narcissists repeat themselves, which they will hardly be aware of.
Narcissistic manipulative communication tends to come in two forms: manipulation with positive reinforcement and manipulation with negative reinforcement. Factors of positive reinforcement often include flattery and promises that they are not willing to fulfill. Negative reinforcement often is more severe.
A conversational narcissist will do their best to limit the discussion to topics where they are knowledgeable and can take up the most airtime. If the conversation strays to other subject matter, Durvasula says, they tend to disengage incredibly quickly and visibly.
"You're a bad person." "Nobody else will ever love you." "I'm the best you'll ever have." "Have fun being alone for the rest of your life."
Narcissistic individuals do tend to listen to someone they see as higher in power than themselves. If those with narcissistic habits respect their therapists, their listening can appear to their therapist to be quite normal.
They use shock, awe, and guilt.
Narcissists continue to gain control of the people in their lives by eliciting difficult emotions. “After going through a period of 'grooming' someone for a close relationship, the narcissist moves on to use shock, awe, and guilt to maintain control,” Talley explains.
In fact, the self-centered person is often an unusually good listener, and can come off as deeply caring and sensitive. This ability is part of what makes them so destructive, as we'll see.
Since narcissists focus mostly on themselves, many are notoriously poor listeners. Signs of poor listening include the aforementioned traits of hoarding time, monopolizing topics, and being rude with interruptions.
Here are some narcissism red flags to look out for: Lacking empathy. They seem unable or unwilling to have empathy for others, and they appear to have no desire for emotional intimacy. Unrealistic sense of entitlement.
There are plenty of tell-tale signs, like self-importance, a lack of empathy, a demanding personality and an excessive need for admiration.
By definition, someone with traits of narcissism is unlikely to act selflessly because they lack the ability to empathize or see the needs of those around them. When they do “good,” they're showered with admiration, attention, and accolades.
Why Do Narcissistic Personalities Play the Victim? Narcissists may play the victim if they believe they gain something from making you feel guilty. Their tendency to use manipulation tactics is one of the formal symptoms of narcissistic personality.
A narcissist may gaslight you or contradict you in front of others. Withholding money, the silent treatment, isolation, and lying about you to others are other narcissistic manipulative techniques in their toolbox. The end goal of a narcissist is to control their victim's behavior into maintaining their supply.
Overview. Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental health condition in which people have an unreasonably high sense of their own importance. They need and seek too much attention and want people to admire them. People with this disorder may lack the ability to understand or care about the feelings of others.
They may try to make you feel like you're overreacting or being too sensitive by saying things like, “You're being paranoid,” or “You're imagining things.” They might also try to control what you do and who you see by trying to isolate you from your friends and family.
Narcissists tend to communicate differently than other people. Their words are often used as tools or weapons. Their language often disguises their true intent. This can make listening to narcissists more difficult and less straightforward than communicating with most other people.