Although narcissists act superior to others and posture as beyond reproach, underneath their grandiose exteriors lurk their deepest fears: That they are flawed, illegitimate, and ordinary.
Although narcissists act superior, entitled and boastful, underneath their larger-than-life facade lies their greatest fear: That they are ordinary. For narcissists, attention is like oxygen. Narcissists believe only special people get attention.
They Are Criticized. When a narcissist is criticized, their inflated sense of self is damaged. Any perceived negative feedback, even if offered in gentle or productive ways, can easily result in outbursts of narcissistic rage. A narcissist cannot tolerate threats to their massive egos and grandiose self-image.
In all honesty, what narcissists fear the most is themselves, but it goes much deeper than that. The reason a narcissist has such a devastating impact on people's lives is because they are in a constant state of survival due to their emotional inadequacy.
There's nothing a narcissist fears more than consequences.
Calmly lay out which specific behavior you want them to stop doing, and explain what will happen if they choose to ignore you. This is a threat to a narcissist's power, and it's sure to keep them on alert.
Type As can also be dangerous to narcissists
Although they can be targeted, type A people can also become a narcissist's worst nightmare. One of the most important defenses against dark personalities is having strong boundaries yourself, and type A people are usually aware they have the right to build them.
Due to their low social competence, vulnerable narcissists often do not receive the attention and admiration they are searching for to satisfy their high sense of entitlement. This negative experience contributes to their enhanced levels of (social) anxiety [77].
They are afraid of painful emotions and narcissists have a strong need to control these feelings. They act as they do as a defense mechanism to prevent themselves from feeling emotional pain. They may feel inferior, so they act superior, they feel undesirable, so they act confident.
Narcissists feel threatened whenever they encounter someone who appears to have something they lack—especially those who are confident and popular. They're also threatened by people who don't kowtow to them or who challenge them in any way.
The most effective weapon to fend off a narcissist is self-love. Narcissists do not want to feel like you don't need them, that you are better off without them, and that you love yourself exactly as you are.
Most narcissists enjoy an irrational and brief burst of relief after having suffered emotionally ("narcissistic injury") or after having sustained a loss. It is a sense of freedom, which comes with being unshackled.
Narcissists have an excessive need to be in control of their environment and other people and feel entitled to their unconditional attention and admiration. When these needs are threatened, their reaction is often extreme and they either become enraged or passive-aggressive.
5. Strong people. Narcissists hate strong people that are not afraid to set boundaries and let them know their behavior is not acceptable. Since they crave power and control and may use manipulation or other tactics to maintain it.
You might be wondering what words you should use to hurt or humiliate a Narcissist. But what hurts a narcissist more is using No words at all. Narcissists use this one all the time; it's designed to make you work for their attention and it is called Silent Treatment.
An injured narcissist will go into a narcissistic rage and self-sabotage relationships with their loved ones or at work in order to preserve their false self at all cost. They will hold the critic in contempt and view them as a threat for their survival.
Rage: Anger, frustration, and rage can create tears in many people, including those with NPD. Criticism: The experience of receiving criticism can be so overwhelming for people with narcissistic personality disorder that many will cry. Fear: When someone with NPD is experiencing fear, it is normal to cry.
In fact, self-esteem is one of the weak points of a narcissist. Usually, it's quite low. This causes them to develop multiple defenses in order to build a suit of shiny armor under which they protect themselves. Consequently, if there's one thing they can't tolerate, it's accepting their vulnerability.
Mental health experts have observed that, sometimes, when a narcissistic person doesn't receive the external validation they believe they deserve, it can result in a high level of stress and hurt.
Narcissists are motivated by feeling superior and expanding their power, and so the only things that matter when helping others are receiving adulation, fame, influence, opportunities, notoriety, and other resources. They dont actually care about others because to them other people are just things to use.
NPD Brains Work Differently
According to research, people with narcissistic personality disorder have reduced gray matter volume in areas of the brain related to empathy and increased activity on baseline images in brain regions associated with self-directed and self-absorbed thinking.
Don't have any lengthy conversations. It's difficult enough to be as dull as possible in short bursts — talking to the narcissist at length will make it even more challenging as they'll be trying to draw some emotional response out of you. If the narcissist asks you questions respond with short, uncreative answers.
For a narcissist to be happy, you'll always have to accept their version of events as the truth. Otherwise, you'll be on the receiving end of their narcissistic rage. Even if you do everything they ask, a narcissist will still try and undermine you at every opportunity.