A key trait of narcissists is confidence – they are attractive because they think of themselves as attractive. They believe in their own value, so this confidence and charisma become qualities that pull others in, that makes them the life and soul of the party.
1. Narcissists are masterful impression managers: Thanks largely to their intense self-obsession and self-adulation, narcissists excel at managing initial impressions. They care a lot about their appearance and dress to impress, which signals status and makes them attractive.
Key points. Narcissists are more likely to be highly extraverted, want to be the center of attention, and are more disagreeable than others. Researchers have found that narcissists tend be more physically attractive than average.
"Narcissists are drawn to those who can boost their own self-esteem and validate their sense of importance," Wasser told Insider. "Being associated with someone who is successful or admired can make the narcissist feel more important by proxy."
Bottom Line. Narcissists can sometimes be helpful and caring. However, more often than not, they only pretend to have these qualities. Moreover, even when they act giving and helping, they are not motivated by empathy because they severely lack it, and as a result, their help is often not very productive.
Narcissists can and do love, but their love tends to be superficial and fleeting. They can develop intense emotional attachments—even appearing to "fall in love"—and yet still maintain a complete lack of empathy for the object of their affection.
They will often deploy a variety of narcissistic relationship patterns such as manipulation, charismatic, and exploitational tactics in order to ensure that their own needs and wants are met. As a spouse, you may be the subject of their manipulation and abuse, while your partner treats everyone else positively.
In fact, narcissists are often attracted to strong, confident, and self-assured women. While this may seem counterintuitive, it is important to realize that the narcissistic traits of grandiosity and confidence are really a mask for deep insecurity.
The best way to shut down a narcissist is to walk away from them. If all else fails, you can physically remove yourself from the conversation. Even if they keep talking, simply turn around and walk away. If they follow you, close the door.
It is a misconception that narcissists target weak, vulnerable people because they will be easier to manipulate. They actually go for the exact opposite. They look for people who are confident, successful, attractive and strong-willed.
Thus, narcissists may pay special attention to their appearance, leading to observable manifestations such as matching, fashionable clothes, and a tidy, organized appearance. Another characteristic of narcissists that might affect their physical appearance is their desire to be the center of attention.
Our Self-Esteem
Unfortunately, we accept the love we think we deserve. On the flip side, you may be attracted to narcissistic partners because of their confidence and charm. They can introduce you to their life of excitement and supposed glamour, making you feel amazing - but only when you're with them.
Many narcissists pride themselves on being expert lovers who can give a partner multiple orgasms and the best experience of their lives. The only downside to this is that narcissists might expect their partners to rhapsodize over their lovemaking skill, and may even prompt partners to discuss this in awkward detail.
Gaslighters/narcissists can never fully compliment someone unless there is an insult tied to it. In broad terms, it's sometimes known as a “backhanded compliment.” An example would be, “I like your dress, it almost fits you.” The compliment-insult, or complisult, first sets you up, trusting the person ever so slightly.
“As narcissists do not have empathy, they are not able to genuinely care or love you,” explains Davey. Instead, narcissists will only have people in their lives that benefit them; they are very selfish people. “They are number one in their lives.
They get jealous about everything
They talk a good game, but narcissists actually have very low self-esteem. Low self-worth/confidence/esteem is at the core of a narcissism. This low sense of self naturally makes it extremely easy for them to become jealous – very jealous.
There's nothing a narcissist fears more than being left alone. Block their phone number, unfriend them on social media, and don't even acknowledge their presence if you're ever in the same room with one another. This won't just scare a narcissist—it will devastate them.
Empathize with Their Feelings
It is extremely soothing to Narcissists when you demonstrate that you understand and empathize with how they feel. But..do not insert anything about how the situation makes you feel, or anything about you at all unless it is an apology.
However, some studies have also pointed out that narcissistic characteristics may not only arise from childhood environments characterized by neglect/abuse, but also from environments in which a child is sheltered or overly praised [11,14,15].
Being accommodating to a narcissist will make them instantly attracted to you. An easy-going nature and being flexible indicates to them that they can make you compromise to suit their life. They don't believe they should ever be the ones to adjust so naturally they'll be drawn to adjustable people.
The narcissist chooses to marry the person they believe they can have the most control over. This isn't meant to victim blame and to say the partner or spouse has done anything wrong. The narcissist knows that other people are caring and want to please, so they look for people that have these qualities.
It's easy to be seduced by generosity, expressions of love, flattery, sex, romance, and promises of commitment. This is how narcissists manipulate you to achieve their aims. They brag about themselves in order to be admired, loved, and gratified. Codependents with low self-esteem are easy targets.