If you've ever heard that year seven is the make-it-or-break-it year for marriages, you may start to get nervous as that anniversary approaches. The seven-year itch, as it's called, is a term that describes feeling restless or dissatisfied in a relationship — typically at that seven-year mark.
The seven-year itch is a popular belief, sometimes quoted as having psychological backing, that happiness in a marriage or long-term romantic relationship declines after around seven years.
The seven-year itch is the idea that after seven years in a relationship, whether that's as a married couple or cohabitees, we start to become restless. Bored perhaps. Everything begins to feel a little bit mundane or routine. Anecdotally, it's said we're more likely to go our separate ways around this time.
"In any endeavor, boredom sets in over time — this is because the novel becomes the routine," says Dr. Paul Hokemeyer, a licensed family and marriage therapist. "I've found the 7-year itch cycle to be quite valid. After 7 years, most couples go through a period of 'dis-ease.
Some of the most common include disagreements over money, infidelity, lack of communication, passive aggressive behavior and more. Other reasons for divorce include longer life expectancy, which may compel older couples to divorce, or the mental and emotional strain that comes with having young children.
The 7-Year Itch is the idea that marriages start to decline or end in divorce around the seven-year mark due to boredom or even unhappiness. Either one or both partners can feel the 7-Year Itch and can be produced by several different factors, including: Lack of communication. Miscommunication.
The first year of the relationship is the hardest stage, and even when you're living together, you still discover new things about each other every day. How to Survive: The key to getting past the discovery stage is also discovery. The discovery of your partner's imperfections and your imperfections as well.
According to relationship therapist Aimee Hartstein, LCSW, as it turns out, the first year really is the hardest—even if you've already lived together. In fact, it often doesn't matter if you've been together for multiple years, the start of married life is still tricky.
New research shows that relationships are actually more vulnerable to demise far sooner than the dreaded seven year itch. The most common time for a couple to split is right around the two year mark.
For those who'd like to put a number to things, usually, a gap of 1-7 years can be considered an acceptable age difference between adults. People whose ages are within 1-3 years typically do not see much of an age difference, while years 4-7 might begin to feel a little bit more pronounced.
Statistically speaking, most marriages that end in divorce do break up at the 7 to 8 year mark, but that doesn't mean it's impossible to keep a relationship together for life. In the developed world, approximately 50% of marriages do remain together for life, so it is possible.
Five to seven years is generally an acceptable age difference. However, there's no single right answer here, as it depends on the situation. As long as both partners are consenting adults, there's nothing preventing you from dating someone significantly older or younger than you are.
The 7-year itch is a psychological term for a milestone in a relationship, after which the bond starts to decline. No more sparks flying, no more seeing stars, no more longing for each other's touch. Couples enter a romantic slumber at this point, leaving them both feeling underappreciated and unwanted.
According to research published in The Journal of Positive Psychology, it takes 11 weeks to feel better after a relationship ends. But a separate study found it takes closer to 18 months to heal from the end of a marriage. In reality, heartbreak is a grieving process - and it looks completely different for everyone.
Origin of “Seven-Year Itch”
The seven-year itch used to be a physical condition. It was a rash caused by a bacterial infection known as scabies. Back then, scabies took up to seven years to cure. The use of the phrase seven-year itch can also be traced to the play Seven-Year Itch by George Axelrod in 1952.
Ever since, the seven year itch -- a period of restless angst -- has been used as an excuse for infidelity. Now, a study suggests that such an itch is often a reality. An evaluation of 93 married couples during their first 10 years of marriage showed two typical periods of decline.
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Gertrude Grubb Janeway (USA, b. 3 July 1909), was 18 when she married 81-year-old Union Civil War veteran, John Janeway on 9 June 1927 – an age difference of 63 years. The last Union widow of a Civil War veteran, she died 17 January 2003 aged 93.
While there are countless divorce studies with conflicting statistics, the data points to two periods during a marriage when divorces are most common: years 1 – 2 and years 5 – 8. Of those two high-risk periods, there are two years in particular that stand out as the most common years for divorce — years 7 and 8.