Gaslighting is harmful not only because it draws from and exacerbates social inequalities but because it becomes internalized in a context of isolation, making one question one's sense of self. Coming to doubt oneself as a reliable interpreter of the world does significant damage. But context matters.
10 Signs & Red Flags You're Being Gaslighted. If you recognize these signs in your relationships, you may be the victim of gaslighting; they include denial, minimization, blame-shifting, isolation, withholding, causing confusion or doubt, criticism, projection, narcissism, and love bombing.
They reframe your motives to be the opposite of your intentions. They make you feel like you imagine things. They pretend to be an ally and then become cold. They isolate you from colleagues and friends.
Being gaslighted can result in mental illness and other mental health concerns, including anxiety, depression, addiction, and suicidal thoughts. Therefore, individuals need to recognize when they are being gaslighted, especially by an abusive partner or a family member.
Gaslighting may lead a person to develop mental health concerns. The constant self-doubt and confusion can contribute to anxiety. A person's hopelessness and low self-esteem may lead to depression. Posttraumatic stress and codependency are also common developments.
Gaslighting in a relationship is about power, domination, and often fear of losing control. Often a gaslighter will use some of the following tactics to maintain control over their partner: They use their love as a defense for their actions.
Gaslighting is an abusive practice that causes someone to distrust themselves or to believe they have a mental illness. The long-term effects of gaslighting may include anxiety, depression, trauma, and low self-esteem. Gaslighting often appears in abusive relationships but also takes place in other contexts.
Gaslighting is the use of a patterned, repetitive set of manipulation tactics that makes someone question reality. It's often used by people with narcissistic personality disorder, abusive individuals, cult leaders, criminals, and dictators.
A gaslighter believes their own lies and is insistent upon them which makes the person question themselves.
The term “gaslighting” originates in a British play-turned film from the 1930s. The play was called “Gas Light” and the plot is about a husband who mentally and emotionally manipulates his wife into believing she is crazy by changing the intensity of the gas lamps within their home.
Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse and manipulation. At its base, it's an imbalanced power dynamic where the gaslighter somehow has enough power that the person being manipulated is scared to lose the relationship so allows the abuse to continue.
If we stick to the clinical definition, gaslighters have two signature moves: They lie with the intent of creating a false reality, and they cut off their victims socially.
Narcissistic gaslighting examples of this tactic include suggesting you're “confused,” “mixed up” or “misremembering.” Alternatively, they may take the opposite approach, saying something like, “I have no memory of that” or, “I don't know what you're talking about.”
Highly sensitive people and empaths are more susceptible to gaslighting because they do not trust themselves and their intuitions. They doubt their own perspective even when they sense that something is wrong.
It is possible for a gaslighter to apologize for their behavior, but it is important to consider the context in which the apology is given and whether it is sincere. A genuine apology involves taking responsibility for one's actions and expressing remorse for the harm that was caused.
A gaslighter is often someone in a position of power and can range from a boss to a coworker to even a client or competitor. Gaslighters are often very intelligent, says Connecticut-based psychotherapist Dori Gatter, PsyD.
When you confront gaslighters about their behavior, they often change the subject or counter-attack by telling you that it's all your fault or you are the one with the problem.
Ignoring a gaslighter could mean you pretend you did not hear what they said and do not engage or respond to them. This could result in an escalation of their attempts at gaslighting you or make them angry if they feel you have bruised their pride. Similarly, they might try to get your attention in other ways.
Reasons Why a Narcissist Might Gaslight Someone
They may want to control you or make you dependent on them. They may also do it to boost their ego or to make themselves feel better. They are insecure or have low self-esteem. They may also gaslight as a way to manipulate, hurt, or gain power or control over someone.
Like other forms of psychological abuse, gaslighting can affect you even after you've cut ties from the person responsible. In fact, there are even a few long-term effects of gaslighting, from anxiety and depression to increased feelings of self-doubt and even PTSD. That being said, recovery is possible.
Being a perpetrator of gaslighting is treated seriously by authorities and may soon be considered a crime in parts of Australia.
Gaslighting can lead to increased anxiety and depression, says Stern. “Gaslighting may not be the only factor leading to mental illness but the same factors that leave a person vulnerable to gaslighting may result in lower self-esteem, uncertainty about their own reality, anxiety, and ultimately depression,” she says.