But can a marriage survive a separation that lasts for a long time? What is the longest duration of living apart before you realize it's too late to change anything? Statistical research shows that the average length of separation before reconciliation is six to eight months.
A recent study concluded that while the vast majority of married couples who separate will eventually divorce (within three years), approximately 15% remain separated indefinitely, even past the 10-year mark.
This is one of the common questions couples may ask. The break should be neither too short nor too long. It is temporary and should last about three to six months, based on what the partners agree. If the time frame is short, you might not be able to think or come to a proper consensus.
Approximately 80% of separated couples go on to divorce. 20% reconcile. Often, the types of differences that drive the decision to divorce (instead of reuniting) include: That the couple has changed too much since they were initially together.
Coming Together After a Legal Separation
That said, reconciliation after a legal separation is not especially common. According to U.S. statistics, 87 percent of couples who legally separate eventually get a divorce, while only 13 percent choose to come back together.
Children and young adults often face the greatest emotional and physical problems during and after their parents divorce. Children often are subjected to the verbal and sometimes physical fighting of their parents prior to, and during a divorce.
If a temporary separation is done in the right way and for the right reasons, and there are clear agreements, it can help couples gain perspective on their relationship and actually strengthen it.
Acceptance. The final stage is acceptance and is the point where you are no longer looking back and will stop trying to retrieve the life you once had.
Between 10-14% of all separations result in successful long-term reconciliations. This statistic is an important indicator of the potential for reconciliation after separation. It provides a realistic outlook on the chances of couples reuniting and staying together in the long-term.
Key points. Research finds that 40-50 percent of people have reunited with an ex to start a new relationship. On-again relationships tend to suffer lower relationship quality and worse functioning than never-broken relationships. People often resume relationships with ex-partners because of lingering feelings.
Statistical research shows that the average length of separation before reconciliation is six to eight months. Thus, it is a safe period when the spouses can cool off and decide whether they want to give their marriage another chance or get a divorce.
The emotional process can be broken down into 5 stages: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. D-A-B-D-A. Those 5 stages represent grief over the loss of a relationship and marriage.
Depending on your relationship and the reasons you separated, there's still a chance you can work things out and get your marriage back on track. Statistics show that while 87 percent of separated couples end their relationship in divorce, the remaining 13 percent are able to reconcile post-separation.
Even if you know your marriage is really, truly over, you still need to give yourself some time and space. "Although there's no 'magic' time frame by which one is ready to date, I typically recommend that one wait about a year," Jones says. "Separation or divorce is an emotionally draining time.
Statistics on marriage separation
Studies suggest that even though 87% of couples end up filing for divorce, the remaining 13% reconcile after a separation. Although the percentage of people reconciling is lower than the ones opting for divorce, remember that you can be in that 13 percent.
Occasionally and against the odds, some couples are able to reconcile after a period of separation. Statistics based on couples getting back together after a separation show that while 87% of couples finally end their relationship in divorce after a separation, the remaining 13% are able to reconcile post-separation.
One of the signs he misses you when you're not around is when he meets you or visits you to give you a gift. For some men, it's better to show their feelings through actions rather than words. So, if he comes knocking on your door with something, that is his way of showing you he misses you.
One of the most obvious signs is that she calls or texts you a lot. Most of the time during the separation, your spouse may not want to contact you in any way, so if she makes a conscious effort to check up on you and keep in touch, it means she misses you and wants you back.
Loneliness. Many people say that the loneliness is the hardest part. It takes a very long time to get used to being single. Not only have you lost your partner, and perhaps your best friend, but you have possibly also lost your in-laws and the extended family that you married into.
There are three types of separation: trial, permanent, and legal. While a permanent or legal separation usually means the relationship is over, a trial separation is usually a period of time when the couple is deciding whether to stay together or break up.
If both you and your partner are living separately with no intention of reconciliation, this constitutes as a permanent separation.
Effective communication can help prevent the types of misunderstandings, wrongful accusations, and the “blame game” that often occurs during separations. If the goal of a separation is to repair the marriage and both spouses commit to this, you need to remain on good speaking terms.
Maintaining the sanctity of a healthy separation, treat your spouse like a business partner by answering emails, receiving phone calls and reply to text messages. It is not a time to talk ill of each other. Your aim is to give yourself space to reflect without their influence.
A separation can strengthen a marriage if it's done for the right reasons and if there are clear agreements from the start.