Relationships can survive infidelity if both individuals are willing to do the work of processing their emotions and thoughts with the goal of healing from the infidelity together. Moving past infidelity takes time and patience, but healing can result in greater growth and resilience for the couple.
Confess to your partner.
Own up to that honestly. The focus should be on you. Instead of saying “You didn't make me feel good in our relationship, so I cheated,” you should phrase it more like “I was feeling insecure in our relationship and I made a mistake. I cheated.”
Be willing to commit but don't make empty promises
“I cheated and feel guilty! Does the guilt of cheating ever go away?” It does. It is possible to get over the pain and guilt and move on.
People who cheat are likely impulsive and destructive at decision making. Instead of thinking about you and what happens to the relationship after cheating, they go based on what they want right now. Impulsiveness can be seen in other areas of the relationship, too. So keep an eye out.
Beyond honoring their sexual and social health, there are also emotions-based reasons you should tell your partner you cheated. For example, revealing this information could be the gateway to you both identifying and fixing underlying issues in the relationship.
The participants admitted to cheating in their relationship and answered the question at the root of the mystery: Why did you do it? An analysis revealed eight key reasons: anger, self-esteem, lack of love, low commitment, need for variety, neglect, sexual desire, and situation or circumstance.
According to estimates based on married couples, approximately 25% of men admit to cheating on their spouse at some point, while around 15% of women admit to the same. Another study found that up to 4% of married individuals had cheated on their spouse in the past year.
One of the best things you can do when feeling anxious about infidelity is to remind yourself what you have control over and focus your energy there. This is easier said than done, but with repetition and practice, this process will become more automatic, and it will be easier to resist the urges of anxiety.
No, cheating doesn't mean your love wasn't real.
Whether you believe that someone can love their partner in the moment of infidelity or not, it's difficult to argue that there was never any love in a relationship just because someone cheated. People fall in and out of love all the time.
Cheating husbands may be defensive over the smallest things. They may seem unusually sensitive or touchy about things that seem harmless to you. If you ask an innocent question about what they had for lunch, they may snap at you and accuse you of being controlling or demanding.
Since cheating means different things to different people, it may not come as a surprise if someone says kissing does not count as cheating. In fact, according to a survey conducted by BBC Radio 5 Live, 73 per cent of women consider kissing as cheating but only 50 per cent men count it as an act of betrayal.
Know That You Aren't a Bad Person
"Cheating is a very serious thing. It's a very big deal, and you should take the time to really sift through all of those feelings and reactions you're having," said Gloria. "At the same time, you also need to recognize that this doesn't make you a categorically terrible person.
Cheating can destroy a marriage, shatter your ability to trust future partners, hurt your kids, and even lead to depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). The vast majority of adults agree that it's wrong, but anywhere from 39 to 52% of us may experience infidelity at some point in our lives.
An affair means you have little respect for your partner — so little, in fact, that you're happy to be indiscreet with someone else without your partner's knowledge. If you have so little respect for another human being, why are you in a long-term relationship with them?
Deciding if you should leave after infidelity will be unique to your experience, situation, relationship, and preferences. Rebuilding a relationship after infidelity can be challenging, but if you feel respected and heard by your partner, and are both committed to the relationship, it can be possible to overcome.