crinkled eyes. exhaling noisily through one's pursed lips. frowning or scowling. gaping.
Experiencing disappointment hurts both physically and mentally. The pain doesn't seem to lessen, no matter how much we experience it. Some of us feel tired, heavy, and numb, while others feel like the world is moving too fast around us.
Disappointment is the negative emotion you feel when an outcome doesn't match up to your expectations. Characterised by feelings of sadness, loss, anger and frustration, disappointment is an unavoidable part of life – but it's not always easy to deal with, even if your setback is relatively minor.
Disappointment comes with complex emotions. It could be sadness, regret, despondency, and, more commonly, anger. Learning how to get over disappointment is a key skill in life, and will make things much easier to accept and move on.
The answers are pretty straightforward: Disappointment is, in and of itself, a painful or sad feeling that happens when something disrupts our positive feelings and hopeful expectations.
There's a psychology behind why disappointment hurts more than anger. We never think of anger as a respectful emotion, it's the opposite of love and gratitude. However, receiving disappointment rather than anger leaves us feeling lost and childlike. Something we don't expect as adults.
Disappointment and the brain
The anticipation itself gives us a dopamine high. But when those expectations are not met, we feel let down, it can even feel like a serious betrayal. The research on negative prediction errors tells us that we lose all the dopamine generated by anticipation and we feel low.
We experience disappointment when our expectations are not met. This can happen in many different contexts, such as relationships, work, school, hobbies, and more. In any situation where we have an expectation, whether it's conscious or not, the possibility for disappointment is present.
Disappointment is directly linked to one's expectations; when our expectations and the outcome do not match. The occasional disappointment doesn't normally trigger anger. The unwillingness to accept the reality – that you didn't get what you expected – is what triggers anger.
Your lateral habenula (a small region of the brain scientists have dubbed 'the disappointment center') lights up and shoots off directions to the midbrain to halt the production of dopamine, also known as the brain's pleasure chemical.
The physical sensations that accompany sadness can feel as undesirable as they are intense – a constriction of the chest, watery eyes and a raw throat, to name a few.
With the experience of disappointment, we may also experience anger and sadness. While the two neurotransmitters (glutamate and GABA) are firing off, dopamine (your pleasure neurotransmitter) is inhibited and cortisol (stress hormone) levels rise (Dold, 2016).
When you experience disappointment, it can help make you feel more grateful for what you have. Whether you disappoint someone or someone disappoints you, it helps you better understand and appreciate the things you have in life, the people who have your back, and the fact that you can overcome anything.
The pain in your brain after a disappointment is real. Our brain processes such experiences as events that undermine our balance and well-being. Hence, the pain appears and the levels of neurotransmitters such as serotonin or dopamine decrease. Written and verified by the psychologist Valeria Sabater.
Acknowledge that you're experiencing disappointment. It's tempting to ignore, minimize, or distract yourself from unpleasant feelings. But this can actually make these feelings more of a problem over time. Instead, acknowledging and naming a feeling (even doing this out loud!) can help you cope in a healthy way.
Disappointment to the average person can be upsetting and frustrating. Disappointment to the abuse and neglect survivor and/or those with complex trauma can be devastating. It can generate a deep abyss of sadness, trigger deep feelings of loss and failure, and a painful chasm between our expectations and reality.
It really is worse than anger or just sadness alone, because disappointment first starts off with a glimmer of hope, an excitement almost, but then the action happens, and then you're left with sadness/ anger/ confusion/ and the feeling of being let down.
Humans experience a range of emotions from happiness to fear and anger with its strong dopamine response, but love is more profound, more intense, affecting behaviors, and life-changing.
Apologize
Try to think about why the person is disappointed in you. If someone is disappointed, they are upset. Getting defensive will only cause the situation to get worse. Apologize for your role in the shortfall of expectations and look for ways to address the situation.
In many instances, disappointment can turn into a lingering sadness — a feeling of loss, of being let down, or even of betrayal.
Oxytocin has been best known for its roles in female reproduction. It is released in large amounts during labor, and after stimulation of the nipples. It is a facilitator for childbirth and breastfeeding. One of the oldest applications of oxytocin as a proper drug is as a therapeutic agent during labor and delivery.
What hormones cause depression? A drop in estrogen and progesterone may trigger depressive episodes. Increased levels of progesterone, such as through taking a progesterone-only contraceptive, may also increase the risk of depression in some people.
Grief can be stored in various parts of the body, such as the heart, lungs, throat, and stomach. People may also experience physical sensations like heaviness in the chest or tightness in the throat when experiencing grief.