Widowhood refers both to a marital event, namely, the disruption of marriage due to the death of the spouse, as well as to the subsequent marital status as unmarried and single person. Depending on gender, the individuals concerned are called widow (female) or widower (male).
Rehl divides widowhood into three distinct stages: Grief, Growth and Grace.
The Stages of Widowhood
Grieving over the death of a spouse or a long-time partner can be devastating, especially when you've planned to spend your whole life with them. You are heartbroken and don't know how to go on with life. Grief is the first stage of widowhood.
Some widows are forced to remarry to a brother-in-law or levirate or live the remainder of their life as an ascetic in the harsh conditions of ashrams or a temple. Many of these mourning rites, if complied with in extreme, are responsible for the high morbidity and mortality of Indian widows.
Widowhood, or the disruption of marriage due to the death of the spouse, is a source of great emotional pain and stress. Widows (females whose spouse has died) and widowers (males whose spouse has died) may grieve and mourn their loss for years.
Widows are more likely to use positive reframing, active distraction, help-seeking, and turning to God for strength, whereas widowers tend to use avoidant strategies, and are more likely to seek connection with their late spouse.
As widows move through their own experiences of grief, loss, or trauma after the death of a spouse, they may also face economic insecurity, discrimination, stigmatization, and harmful traditional practices on the basis of their marital status.
Women are more likely than men to be widowed for two reasons. First, women live longer than men (a fact highlighted by worldwide data regarding differences in life expectancies of men and women). In addition, women tend to marry older men, although this gap has been narrowing.
But the widowhood effect is generally believed to be a problem primarily affecting closely bonded elderly couples. However, a study published Mar. 22 in the journal PLOS One finds that younger people—especially men—are even more at risk.
With the widowhood effect, older adults who have lost a spouse face an increased risk of dying compared to those whose spouses are living. Causes of the widowhood effect may include self-neglect, lack of a support network, and lifestyle changes that follow the death of a spouse.
The standard grieving period can last anywhere from six to twelve months for it to cycle through. This applies to most cases of ordinary grief, with no additional complications coming into play.
One of the first steps in combating loneliness is being around others who share some of the same interests as you. Try your best to pull yourself out of your grief enough to volunteer a weekend or two each month at a local charity or food bank to help those in need.
A common option when deciding what to do with your wedding ring after your spouse's death is to continue to wear it in their honor. For many, it can be a form of comfort to continue wearing your wedding ring. Often that ring is a reminder of the love and memories you shared with your spouse.
There is no rule that says you cannot wear your wedding ring after your spouse is deceased. If you feel more comfortable wearing it, then wear it. However, you may want to consider taking it off to fully move on with life. Your ring may serve as a reminder of your husband and your relationship.
It usually takes one to two years for you to regain your normal levels of thinking following the death of your spouse.
What is the hardest stage of grief? Depression is usually the longest and most difficult stage of grief. Depression can be a long and difficult stage in the grieving process, but it's also when people feel their deepest sadness.
According to a study by the Pew Research Center, 61% of widows and widowers eventually choose to remarry. The study also revealed that men are more likely to remarry than women.
Often the second year is the hardest as that's when the real grief work might begin. This is the time when you may be ready to face your grief head on and deal with any issues that are holding you back. If you're not ready yet though, don't feel guilty. There is no deadline and everyone grieves in their own time.
Fourteen widows outlived their husbands by 34 years, with the longest-living widow surviving 53 years after her husband.
Widow guilt holds you down and expects you to stay there. If you feel doubt, shame, self-judgment or blame yourself for any number of things that you think you should have done differently, you've experienced widow guilt.
Generally for older persons, widowhood is a normal, expectable, on-time experience (Neugarten, 1969), often seen as an appropriate death of an elderly person following a life well lived (Hansson & Stroebe, 2007).
About 2% of widows and 20% of widowers get remarried (Smith, Zick, & Duncan, 1991).
It's true that some widowed people do move on too fast, because they're in denial and don't want to face pain; such relationships often bear a cost. Still, even for those not in denial, finding a connection remains a huge human urge.
There is something powerful about the strength of a widow. Her resilience, her drive, Her broken spirit that has been carefully mended and crafted back together. There is something about a widow. Her ability to rise above and overcome all while moving forward bowing her head in humble reverence.