Level Five: My Needs, Emotions, and Desires
It is the level where we are known at the deepest core of who we are. Because of that, it is the level that requires the greatest amount of trust. If I can't trust that you won't reject me, I'll never be able to share my deepest self with you.
The highest level of intimacy, requires the greatest amount of trust in our relationship. It is only when we feel truly safe with somebody, that we become willing to share the deepest core of who we are. It's up close and personal.
Building deep intimacy involves creating an environment where both people feel safe being themselves and sharing their thoughts and feelings. It also requires both people to be emotionally available.
In addition to making sex and physical touch priorities in your relationship, there are many ways to have more romantic sex too, such as making use of eye gazing, kissing, and more intimate sex positions with your partner.
“Emotional intimacy could be defined as allowing yourself to connect more deeply with your partner through actions that express feelings, vulnerabilities and trust,” says Sanam Hafeez, a neuropsychologist in New York City and faculty member in Columbia University's clinical psychology Ph. D. program.
Broadly speaking, intimacy means deeply knowing someone, while also feeling deeply known yourself. It is something humans crave, and though at times, it may seem more difficult for men to express it, that doesn't mean they don't need or want it.
When you experience deep love for someone, you want to share every part of your life with them. You want to recall the events of your day to them. And you want to be as much a part of their life as you want them to be in yours. You share your secrets with them.
What 'Sexless' Really Means. Technically, a sexless relationship is defined as when a couple has sex less than once a month or less than 10 times a year, says Dr. Epstein.
Men may also experience difficulties achieving intimacy because of a lack of 'emotional vocabulary'. Men often feel less able to express the way they are feeling than women, and may feel uncomfortable with discussions about emotions. However, it is important to remember it is a skill, and as such can be learned.
Self-Esteem Issues
Where physical intimacy is lacking, this can cause self-esteem problems. If your partner shows no interest in you physically, you might feel like they're not attracted to you anymore, and this can cause you to question yourself.
Healthy relationships involve honesty, trust, respect and open communication between partners and they take effort and compromise from both people. There is no imbalance of power. Partners respect each other's independence, can make their own decisions without fear of retribution or retaliation, and share decisions.
In plain language: Men often feel most loved by the women in their lives when their partners hug them, kiss them, smile at them, and explicitly offer gratitude, praise, and words of affection. Men also feel loved and connected through sexuality, often to a greater degree than women do.
He introduces you to his loved ones. When a guy introduces you to his loved ones, an emotional attachment has been established. Not all men are comfortable introducing their love interests to their family and friends. However, if a man does this, it is because he wants them to accept you.
Men secretly crave to talk about their feelings, men want to be understood, they want to know how to be more vulnerable in relationships, to let their emotions out, and — just like everyone else — want others to care about their feelings. As humans, we need to feel connected to others–to build emotional intimacy.
Instead, she feels a strong connection when we talk or communicate at a deep level, sharing feelings and needs. On the other hand, men usually view intimacy as “doing things” or connecting through activity (e.g., TV, sex, wrestling, or whatever).
That's because after being intimate they feel as though they've loved you, and often feel loved as well. The physical contact breaks down barriers and provides a feeling of closeness that cannot be so easily be obtained in another manner for them.
Contrary to prevailing gender tropes, many men crave deeper emotional connection, work hard for it and don't always receive it in return.
More than anything, an emotional connection with your partner is the ability to have deep, substantial conversations about things you'd struggle to talk to just anyone about—feelings, friends, family entanglements, politics, religion, goals and dreams.