Proper etiquette suggests that people should acknowledge receipt of gifts and personal messages with thank you notes, even after a funeral. Expert etiquette website, EmilyPost.com, says there is only one exception to this rule: if the card does not contain a personalized message it does not require a thank you note.
A post-funeral reception is a social gathering after the funeral service where mourners can share stories about the deceased. Food is usually served. It's used as a way to further connect people. Funeral receptions are common but you're under no obligation to host one.
Don't tell friends or family members who are grieving that their loved one has gone to a better place. Never call the death a blessing or speculate that it was that person's time. Avoid saying anything that suggests that the loss of the loved one is a positive thing.
Although you might not feel like texting is the best way to reach out to comfort someone who's grieving, sometimes it's the most appropriate way to offer your condolences.
Keeping in touch
Continue to call, or check in with them, after the funeral too. People often say that it was at this time that they would really like to have heard from people as it's when a person who has been bereaved, can feel most alone. Stick to any promises you make.
Funeral Thank You Note Etiquette Tips
Always send thank you notes to those who sent flowers, gifts or donations. Try to send thank you notes to those who prepared a meal, ran an errand or offered support in your time of need. Consider sending thank you notes to anyone who spoke at or helped with the funeral.
Attending a visitation can be the hardest part for people to attend, because it involves talking to the deceased's family. A good recommendation is to say something simple such as “I am sorry about your loss”, especially if there are many other guests waiting to share their condolences.
Leave the bad luck at the funeral, and bring good luck home. In Chinese culture, red is the color of good luck, and the coin represents fortune. Before guests arrive home, they should eat the candy and spend the coin to seal their luck. Families in other regions may present guests with a red thread instead.
Funeral Farewell Quotes for a Celebration of Life
A life well-lived finds rest and rewards in the afterlife. Farewell to our friend until that moment we meet again. Let not sorrow replace the love and memories of your friend. Rejoice in the kingdom of God that has unfolded and welcomed our beloved.
What To Expect At A Post-Funeral Reception. Many post-funeral receptions are held at the family's home, though they may be held at social halls of religious places of worship, restaurants, or other venues. Food and drink are usually served, often as a buffet.
It is customary to bring food to a grieving family, and a good rule of thumb is to bring something simple that can be easily reheated. The gathering after a funeral often has light food known as a repast, which is served to provide something for mourners to eat.
While it's not required to host a reception after a funeral, it serves as an event to aid people in their grieving process. It may seem overwhelming to host one, given all the planning. There are invitations, setting up, cleaning up, and other logistics involved. But that's what close friends and family are for.
While etiquette dictates sending thank you notes for significant gestures, such as sending flowers, bringing food to your home, or participating in the funeral service itself, it is not necessary to send thank you notes for sympathy cards.
How much money should you offer? A family in need will appreciate any amount of money, so offer as much as you can afford. If you weren't very close to the deceased, you may offer the amount equivalent to a flower arrangement. At the end of the day, it's the gesture that counts the most.
Thank you for your generosity and kindness. Your donation in honor of __________'s memory touched us deeply. Thank you for your generosity and thoughtfulness, and may God bless you. We appreciate your thoughtful donation to ____________ in memory of ______________.
A simple “thank you” works. Other short phrases you can say are, “I appreciate it,” or “That's very kind.” If the other person knew the deceased and is grieving too, you can acknowledge that by also responding, “This must be hard for you, too.”
Thank you all for guiding me through what was a tragic loss in my life. I was able to cope due to your care and support. Your presence was a huge comfort and will never be forgotten. Your help and advice was invaluable.
One way to help a grieving friend feel less alone is to simply remind them that you care. Ask how they are doing today. Tell them you're ready for their real answer—fine, terrible, a shrug—without judgement. This lets your friend know they can let their guard down and that you're there for them.
They may hold a visitation for relatives only, and if so, you should respect their wishes. If you've been invited to both but you're unable to attend the visitation, it's fine to simply attend the funeral. It's typically considered more important to attend the funeral service.
Funeral attendance tips:
If the deceased is a member of your family, a close friend or the relative of a close friend than every effort should be made to attend the funeral service as well as the wake.