Most attachment specialists believe that the disorganized attachment style is the most difficult of the three insecure attachment styles to treat because it incorporates both the anxious and the avoidant styles.
Disorganized attachment, also known as fearful-avoidant, is the rarest of all styles, as only around 5% of the population attaches this way. This insecure attachment style mixes anxious and avoidant attachments with unique traits.
Dismissive/Avoidant - Avoidant attachment is typically exhibited by a rejection of intimacy and independence, however, their independence is more to avoid dependence on others rather than feeling secure. This is often considered an unhealthy attachment style.
In truth, the disorganized attachment style is considered to be the most difficult form of insecure attachment to manage – disorganized adults strongly desire love and acceptance but simultaneously fear that those closest to them will hurt them.
Disorganized attachment style
Also known as fearful-avoidant attachment. Disorganized attachment is the most extreme and least common style. People with disorganized attachment can be seen to act irrationally and be unpredictable or intense in their relationships.
Secure attachment style. People who are securely attached appreciate their own self-worth and ability to be themselves in their relationships. They openly seek support and comfort from their partner, and are similarly happy when their partner relies on them for emotional support.
Secure attachment is the ideal attachment style between caregiver and child. Studies (like this from Princeton University) show that only 60% of adults have a secure attachment style. The other 40% of people fall into the other three attachment styles: avoidant, anxious/insecure or disorganized.
Which Attachment Style Is Most Manipulative? On the more extreme end of anxious attachment, a person may be more likely to become emotionally manipulative because they will go through as much as they can to make sure an attachment figure doesn't leave them.
Some studies showed that differences in attachment styles seem to influence both the frequency and the patterns of jealousy expression: individuals with the preoccupied or fearful-avoidant attachment styles more often become jealous and consider rivals as more threatening than those with the secure attachment style [9, ...
Due to the fact that someone with an avoidant attachment style is more likely to end a relationship because it's starting to become serious, combined with their reluctance to re-establish a romantic connection, many people may be wondering how to get over an avoidant partner.
Anxious and avoidant relationships are considered unhealthy or insecure attachments. They can often lead to relationships that cause you great anxiety, distress, or emotional pain. Alternatively, you can also form attachments to objects. These attachment objects can play a role in how safe you feel.
People with an avoidant attachment style can come across as selfish, appearing to put their own needs in front of their partner's needs. When their partner expresses feelings or needs, they might show annoyance or disdain.
Avoidant Attachment: less likely to fall in love and more likely to engage in casual sex. Adults with an avoidant attachment style typically have a deactivated attachment system. Avoidant individuals do not seek proximity and intimacy, avoid the display of emotions, and appear distant and cold.
Secure Attachment Style
Secure attachment types obviously make the best romantic partners, family members, and even friends. They're capable of accepting rejection and moving on despite the pain, but are also capable of being loyal and sacrificing when necessary.
Ambivalent or anxious-preoccupied attachment style
People with an ambivalent attachment style (also referred to as “anxious-preoccupied,” “ambivalent-anxious,” or simply “anxious attachment”) tend to be overly needy.
There are four principles of attachment theory - secure, anxious, avoidant and disorganized attachment. People with an anxious attachment style are more likely to struggle with self-doubt, fall in love quickly and carry a strong fear that their partner will leave them.
People with an anxious/preoccupied style of attachment, who worry and fret about signs and signals that they're about to be left or betrayed, present ideal candidates for gaslighting.
Trauma bonding occurs when someone forms a strong emotional attachment to someone who has caused them harm or trauma. Some signs of trauma bonding may include: Feeling like you can't live without the person, even if they are abusive or harmful to you.
Studies have found that avoidant attachers are less likely to date or seek relationships. In other words, they are more prone to having smaller social circles and, thus, may stay single for longer periods of time. Avoidant attachers are thus more susceptible to social loneliness and isolation.
Attachment trauma often leads to a “disoriented-disorganized” attachment — a pattern that, in turn, imparts an increased risk of further abuse and neglect. In addition to relationship difficulties, attachment trauma is also linked to our overall mental health, according to a 2012 study .
Men apparently fall in love more quickly than women: 54 percent of guys say they've felt love at first sight, for instance, compared to 44 percent of women.
The secure attachment style is the most common type of attachment in western society. Research suggests that around 66% of the US population is securely attached.
Cook says hopeless romantics are often coping with anxious attachment, which goes hand-in-hand with a fear of abandonment. "With anxious attachment, we feel desperate to find a connection — sometimes, any connection — and will do just about anything to hold onto it, even if it is not serving us."
Most divorce mediations are probably with avoidant/anxious couples. In divorce mediation with anxious/avoidant/ couples (and to a lesser extent with anxious/secure couples), the anxiously-attached spouse may be inappropriately prone to yield ground.
Many research has reported a direct correlation between low self-esteem and people with insecure attachment styles both avoidant and anxious. Both these attachment styles are also predisposed to anxiety (avoidant) and depression (anxious).