“Love bombing” is a phrase describing this stage, in which the narcissistic person may smother the target with praise, courting, intense sex, vacations, promises of a future together, and designation, essentially, as the most special person ever.
Love bombing typically takes place during a courtship phase that can last days or weeks. It may even last for months if you seem more resistant. Ultimately, there's no set timeline for love bombing. It can continue until your partner feels they've established the necessary level of control.
This can include elaborate gift-giving, over-complimenting, wanting undivided attention, and other manipulative tactics. Love bombing is commonly associated with narcissism and often progresses into emotional abuse. Love bombing behavior should be seen as a relationship red flag.
The four stages of the narcissistic abuse cycle are: Idealization, Devaluation, Repetition, and Discard. In this cycle, a narcissistic partner may love-bomb you, devalue your sense of self over time, repeat the pattern, and eventually, discard you and/or the relationship.
The relationship cycle typical of extreme narcissistic abuse generally follows a pattern. Individuals in emotionally abusive relationships experience a dizzying whirlwind that includes three stages: idealization, devaluing, and discarding.
FAQs. What is the narcissistic abuse cycle? It is a pattern of behavior that is often seen in relationships where one person has a narcissistic personality disorder. It typically consists of four phases: idealization, devaluation, discarding, and hoovering.
When love bombing ceases, anxiety increases. And unfortunately, the next stage is devaluation. When devaluation happens, the narcissistic relationship turns into an addictive cycle where the non-narcissistic person is trying to get back to the love bombing stage.
For example, if they sense they are losing their power over you or you make an attempt to leave, they will love bomb as a way to regain control. They might apologize, make grand romantic gestures, confess their eternal love for you, tell you how much they have changed, and/or make promises for the future.
At the end of a relationship, a narcissist will often spiral down a long-winded gauntlet of manipulation tactics. They may blame you for causing the relationship to fail, work hard to keep you to stay with them, make lofty promises to change their behavior, or badmouth you to everyone around them.
Narcissistic relationships can last anywhere from a few days or weeks to many years. There are anecdotal observations suggesting that the average length of a narcissistic relationship is around six months, but no empirical evidence supports this claim.
There is no grand list of specific phrases narcissists use, but there are common phrases to look out for like, “My exes are all crazy,” and, “You're too sensitive,” as well as a host of manipulation tactics to try to control you.
It is a complicated mental illness centering on an individual's inflated sense of self-importance accompanied by a lack of empathy for other people. While this is an intimidating definition, narcissistic individuals can and do fall in love and commit to romantic involvements.
Generally, love bombing will last for a few weeks to a few months. Love bombers tend to continue until the person is either sufficiently seduced or makes it clear they won't succumb to their efforts. Many people will see the exaggerated gestures and declarations as a red flag and get out.
Contrary to the popular assumption, not all love-bombing is calculated or intended to be harmful. The behavior ranges from being something that is relatively innocent albeit naïve, to being emotionally devastating or even life-threatening, such as when carried out by leaders of cults.
But when their love and affection is removed and yours stays the same, the unrequited love or feelings can result in heartbreak or feelings of betrayal, Behr explains, adding that for some it can even cause panic, desperation, depression, fear, and anxiety in the victim of love bombing.
Love bombing is typically a phase within a relationship. It may last for weeks, months, years, or even longer. It's important to know that over time, the benefits the love bomber receives from this behaviour (the 'emotional high') start to lessen, which can mean that they begin to change their behaviour.
One of the telling signs of being love bombed occurs during the second phase, the devaluation stage. Your partner alternates between being kind one minute and cruel the next. They're savvy enough to be loving in public so that others think they're great. But they turn abusive, especially in private.
Their sense of self is determined by what others think of them; they try to control what others think to feel better about themselves. Thus, love bombing is a means to seek attention, boost their ego, and fulfill self-enhancement needs for sex, power, and control.
They Face a Setback, Disappointment, or Conflict
A narcissist can become easily enraged if a setback occurs in their life, job, or relationship. Not getting their way results in both a loss of control and a bruised ego.
Four Ds of Narcissism: Deny, Dismiss, Devalue & Divorce.
One of the common ways narcissists manage their shaky sense of self-esteem is by comparing themselves to others and convincing themselves that they are better. So, by being or appearing as giving and helpful, they can feel superior to others.