Acknowledge the offense. Take responsibility for the offense, whether it was a physical or psychological harm, and confirm that your behavior was not acceptable. ...
A genuine apology shows that you feel sorry for your actions and want to do better. It also gives the other person a chance to process their own feelings. You've taken the first step to fix the damage.
You want to convey that you truly feel sorry and care about the person who was hurt, and promise to make amends, including by taking steps to avoid similar mishaps going forward as in the examples below.
For example, you could say: "I'm sorry that I snapped at you yesterday. I feel embarrassed and ashamed by the way I acted." Your words need to be sincere and authentic . Be honest with yourself, and with the other person, about why you want to apologize.
1 Apologize unconditionally. At the beginning of your apology letter, write “I'm sorry for . . .” or “I apologize for . . .” followed by what you're specifically remorseful about. ...
Tell the person you're sorry for what you did, even if it wasn't on purpose.
Own what you did without trying to explain it away. It takes away from an apology if you follow up with an excuse or explanation for why you did what you did.
Instead of apologizing, use phrases like '“I'd love to add,” “I think that,” or “Here's a different perspective.” These phrases help you contribute without sounding scared to do so.
This one takes a bit of finesse and sleight-of-hand to pull off and it may actually work in the moment; it usually includes more than a little blame-shifting too. Yes, the words “I'm sorry” are included in this one; it's the construction of the apology you have to pay attention to.
A clear "I'm sorry" statement. An expression of regret for what happened. An acknowledgment that social norms or expectations were violated. An empathy statement acknowledging the full impact of our actions on the other person. A request for forgiveness.
Be specific. Show you understand why it was bad, take ownership, and show that you understand why you caused hurt. Don't make excuses. Say why it won't happen again.
A true apology does not overdo.It stays focused on acknowledging the feelings of the hurt party without overshadowing them with your own pain or remorse. A true apology doesn't get caught up in who's to blame or who “started it.”Maybe you're only 14% to blame and maybe the other person provoked you.
Statements such as “I am sorry that this happened,” or “I am sorry that you are in such pain” capture regret in a blame-free manner. Describe the event and medical response in brief, factual terms. If additional follow-up is indicated, discuss those plans with the patient.
What can I say instead of sorry when it's not your fault?
Instead, clarify your position, but avoid alluding to contrition. For example, “Thanks for your feedback, we'll take your points on board, but we stand by our decision/action.” “Don't clarify that you did nothing wrong, but then apologize if anyone was offended,” adds O'Meara.
For example, instead of accepting responsibility and saying, “I'm sorry I offended you”, people blame-shift by saying something like: “I'm sorry it offended you.” (“My action offended you, not me.”) “I'm sorry you got offended.” (“You shouldn't have been offended.”)
Apologize when you are wrong but don't take ownership of someone else's issues. You can choose some pacifying statements such as, “I am sorry your felt hurt by that” or “I hate that you are so upset over this” which can convey empathy without ownership.
